Started Bossypants by Tina Fey

     I'm already intrigued and smiling and I'm only through the intro.  I need some comedy and the lack of television and internet made it quite easy this morning to pick up a book.  Sometimes we just need the push...

Wait for the School Bus

     Today Emily had after school band practice to prepare for her first Winter Concert next week.  There was a special bus running them home after school so I told her to hop on.  She had a great practice and I was there to greet her at the end of the driveway...umbrella in hand.  It had to start pouring...sideways...as soon as I got out there.
     Many of you are wondering how this could be a new thing.  Well it is.  My children have been driven to and from school all of this time.  Schools have either been too close to bother or didn't offer a bus.  I stood there on this rainy, grey day and was grateful that it was raining and not snowing.  It was warm.  But I also thought about how in six minutes we can be to the school and it's simply not worth it for them to ride around on the bus for way longer.  I enjoy the drive home listening to the tennis rally of excitement as they tell me about their day.  I enjoy seeing their little faces light up as they run to the car.  It will go all too quickly and I have to admit picking them up is one of the highlights of my entire day. 
     I also had a bit of a light bulb moment which is kind of ironic this many days into my challenge.  My new might be your everyday.  My old might be your new.  We take many things for granted.  We assume.  We imagine what is simple to us should be simple to all...and it isn't.  It's new.  New can sometimes be uncomfortable or tricky.  It can also be exciting.  It's the judgement that isn't ours to make when it comes to others.  We all have fears and they may vary quite a bit from one to the next.  We should be kind when it comes to those we love and their fears.  We should encourage the new.  Be tender about it.  Did you find a new thing today?  What are you waiting for???

Listen to Owls Have a Conversation

     I can tell when a Northern Flicker is tapping on my house.  I have done the Cornell Bird Count.  I get excited when I see a bird I have never seen before.  I was amazed when I spotted an eagle and still tilt my head at the huge group of turkey vultures if they circle over my yard.  Do I make trips just to bird watch?  No...but I have a feeling when I'm older I might enjoy such a thing while on vacation.  In the meantime, I point out the difference between a  bluebird and a blue jay and hope my kids learn a little somethin'. 
     When I first moved to this house I began to notice animals and birds that you just don't see in town.  I also listened and started to hear calls I hadn't before.  The night I heard the "hoot, hoo, hoo.....hoo...hoot" I was thrilled.  I imagined waiting for a bright full moon night to venture out and spot the creature gazing down upon me from a limb. 
     The lingering effects of this cold/flu that I am battling don't allow for pleasant sleep and tossing and turning seems to come with the package.  But this time I didn't mind.  I heard the owl again...way in the distance as I've heard before.  BUT, then I heard the close one.  So close that my dog also perked up to listen.  It seemed to be in the tree right outside the bedroom.  They were having a discussion I suppose.  What about I can only imagine.  Maybe how unseasonably warm it has been which means the mice are still scurrying about ever so nicely.  I listened for as long as I could until the one must have moved along to another tall tree.  Just a few hours into my new day I had captured a new thing...just as the owl probably captured a snack. 

Gnomeo & Juliet

     Another day of rest means a new movie was in store!  This was an odd little film.  I liked it but am not sure why.  I was also confused about how Elton John was involved in a project like this.  Let's just say though it was a good distraction from fevers and stuffy noses I don't need to own a copy. 

Wii Pictionary with Gramary

     We were dropping like flies with this sickness funk but Mary is a dedicated Granny so she made her way out for a visit anyway.  We kept things low key and relaxed.  She had a little battery charging and we just had a nice rest.  What is fun but still keeps us snuggled on couches?  Wii Pictionary.  We passed our little tablet around and drew our little hearts out.  I somehow always find something that makes Mary even funnier.  This was no exception. 

Hot and Sour Soup

     I cashed in on a sick day and this means take out.  The thought was that the hot and sour soup might open me up a little.  It just burned my raw throat.  Boooooo.  But it made for an easy new thing on a day of rest.

Oysters with Marilyn at a White Thanksgiving

     I have heard about the feast at my nephew and niece's house for years.  But with work, babies, parents, etc...we were never able to accept the invite with a resounding "yes!".  This year was different.  I was so absolutely excited to be a part of it.  The first Thanksgiving without the matriarch of the family is a tricky one and I needed a space for all of us to feel the love that she used to pour onto us for the holiday.  
     Theresa tends to have something in common with me.  We try to do tooooo much at all times.  We end up tired.  This year she broke out of her comfort zone and it was quite the success.  With a room full of misfit toys we put together a bountiful feast.  We came with desserts, breads, side dishes...our specialties and all shared a table for 14.   Of course being Theresa and Chuck this doesn't mean you slack in any way.  The table was suitable for a surprise visit from Martha herself and the amuse bouche, delicious soup and tasty appetizers were Top Chef quality.  As we sat around delicate cheeses and dips...out came a platter of freshly shucked oysters complete with a minuet.  The old me...NO WAY!  Oddly enough, I was JUST chatting with Marilyn about my new thing of the day.  We were discussing how it changes your thinking pattern and breaks you out of your mold.  How it makes each day an exciting adventure.  So when oysters come out...instead of turning up my nose...I grinned.  Only one thing to do!  Marilyn was new to them as well.  So we toasted our shells and down they went.
     The day was wonderful.  Great discussions about everything from Peeps to parent teacher conferences.  Hilarious stories.  Delicious food.  Teamwork in so many ways.  Kindness.  Hugs.  It was a day to be thankful for in a room full of people truly grateful for what we have...despite the challenges, despite the losses, despite the changes.  Smiles on little girls, a food thieving Potato pug, snuggles on laps, a giggling Pop Pop, a quick catch up in a quiet kitchen...that is what we all needed. 
     I am thankful for the day, grateful for the company and blessed to have been with such wonderful people.  Happy Thanksgiving!
    

New Movie Theater

     It was a surreal moment.  I have been going to the same movie theater since 1990.  It was old and nasty and at some point I banned it from my life.  I was tired of sticking to nasty floors and wondering what was on my seat.  I also chose to support the little local theater.  Last night I returned to the big cinema.  It drew me in with its new sound system, big screen and stadium seating...oh, and The Muppets were playing there.  What used to be a few steps from the lobby area to the theater space was now a large hallway full of digital signs and multiple rooms.  It was as if I was in some Alice in Wonderland moment.  The hallway just kept growing.  My little mall has a real theater now....very odd. 
     So the Muppets.  It's been years and I was a huge fan in my youth.  The movie had quite the potential to let me down.  It did not.  It was wonderfully entertaining, sweetly sentimental and just plain old fun.  Though seeing the old crew was like being with old friends...the cameo appearances were a treat in themselves.  It was a nice way to kick off a cherished few days of family and thanks. 

Hang an Art Show at MudWorks

     It has been approximately five years since I've hung a show.  Five years since I've stared at walls and paid attention to light and shadow.  Looked at the pieces and tried to bring something special out of them.  I make sure the broad brush strokes are far enough away to get the image properly.   I'm careful that the dark photograph will be seen in all of its glory.  I pay attention to size and medium and wall space.  I felt a little piece of me light up as I put the puzzle together.  This group show has a wonderful collection of some very talented artists and I was thrilled to highlight their work. 

Philly Steaks

Not feeling so hot + need of new thing = Philly Steaks on Main (To Go)

Three Miles with the New Sneakers

       When you get a 67° day and it's close to Thanksgiving...you are darn grateful for the warmth and  sunshine and you bust out your brand new sneakers!!!

Ornament Painting Event

     Last time we had an event at MudWorks the kids got to create something from clay.  This time they got to play around with the creativity that comes with painting.  Ten ornaments each and a supply of fun colors...and we will have ourselves twenty gorgeous new treats for packages and the tree.  Great way to kick off the holiday season!!!

Misidentified Jeep, Found Coffee Partner

     I had an 8:15am parent teacher conference.  I had a 10am appointment.  By 9:15 I was hungry and feeling the effects of no coffee. 

Set scene:  Dunkin Donuts drive-thru...4th in line.  I see a Jeep.  DWG on the back.  Like a kid who has spotted an ice cream truck I text Leigh Ann. 

"Hey, wanna go inside and eat together?"

I then realize it is NOT her after all.  Respond text goes a little something like this:

"Huh?". 

This made me giggle...and explain further what had happened.  Five minutes later the RIGHT Jeep showed up and I had someone to share my bagel and coffee with.  We fit hours worth of energy into our twenty minute pocket of time.  So to the other Jeep I say thank you because you gave us a nice little treat!

Ingrid Michaelson's Ghost

     I love Ingrid.  I have for years.  I have yet to see her sing on stage but it is one of my goals.  Her songs are clever and I have a soft spot for the combination of her voice and the piano.  She also has quite a strange knack of coming out with music just at the time I can relate to what she is singing about.  This is no exception.  Brand new song from an album I can't wait to hear. 

Ghost

Do you remember the walls fell
Do you remember the sound that the door made
When you closed it at me
Do you know that I went down to the ground
And landed on both my broken hearted knees
I Didn’t even cry
Cause pieces of me had already died

Chorus:
I’m a ghost, haunting these halls
Climbing the walls that I never knew were there
And I’m lost, broken down the middle of my hard heart
I’m broken down the middle of my hard heart
You know you make me a ghost

I’m an invisible disaster
I keep trying to walk on my feet
Don’t find the sound, the ground
It’s like living in a black dream
I keep trying to scream
but my tongue has finally lost its soul
Tried to say goodbye
To the pieces of me that have already died

Chorus:
I’m a ghost, haunting these halls
Climbing the walls that I never knew were there
And I’m lost, broken down the middle of my hard heart
I’m broken down the middle of my hard heart
You know you make me a ghost

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, Two

     Have you seen Marcel the Shell?!?  If you haven't please do so immediately.  This was a new one for me and it came on a day I needed it the most.  Jenne posted it and Leigh Ann and I giggled our way through it.  Thanks Marcel...I don't know what I would've done without you!!!

White Clay Ornaments

     MudWorks is having another fun family event.  This time we all get to try our hand at the painting part.  MJ and I made some additional ornaments for families to choose from.  White clay is very different from the usual mud brown stuff...it's softer and has a unique texture.  Both of my kids will get their very own set of ornaments to paint.  You'll hear more about them on Saturday...can't give away a new thing. 
     MJ thought it would be funny to make a random cowboy hat because "there are lots of horse people around here".  It struck me funny.  I made an alligator.  We are competing  on which one will be chosen first.  Either way...it made me giggle. 

Puppies for Pop

     My Dad is 85.  My mother has been gone for about eleven months now.  It is showing in places you wouldn't always expect.   I'm not so sure if he is sad, forgetful or old...or maybe a combo deal of the three.  I AM sure that he is not taking proper care of certain things...and now I'm thinking my Mom had something to do with it.  His shoes are a prime example.  His EEE wide Hush Puppies are beyond beat.  They are worn and nasty.  I have hinted.  I have threatened.  I have allowed the dog to steal and chew and hide them.  We have "lost" them a few times.  Does he wear the brand new Reeboks in the closet?  How about the loafers?  Nah....just the scary old velcro numbers.  So tonight I ordered a pair online.  This time instead of the off white old man version...I went with the brown.
     It is an odd feeling to take care of the man that used to guide you.  He taught me how to drive...I now fear his driving.  He taught me how to be thorough...he now does almost nothing.  He taught me how to face life with a giggle...he now scowls too often.   Tonight, I spoke to him as best as could.  Some love.  Some "Hey, what the hell are ya doin'?".  Some inspiration.  He said he's been a little lazy.  My Dad used to build skyscrapers...lazy was not in his vocabulary.  Maybe a little kick in the pants, some daughterly love and a new pair of puppies will put a little pep in his step.  We can hope anyway...

Family Turkey Craft Project

     A giant brown turkey came home with the directions to do anything you want to it...as a family...no coloring.  So after trying out different ideas we went with felt.  The four of us spent quite a few hours today creating our bird.  We traced, cut, glued and designed.  Pop seemed to enjoy it and the kids kept saying how much fun it was.  We all signed the back and Ethan is loving the idea that we can use it as a decoration for years to come.  Gobble, gobble!

New Kicks with Frank

     My last two pairs of sneakers were from the clearance rack at Kohl's and probably go back too many years to mention.  They take a toll on a girlie's feet.  After my little red thermometer reward graph made it to the next line and hit a new target...it was time for the prize!  New sneakers.  A little extra work for a few weeks in a row and a sale at the store and I was set.  Frank gave me the full foot inspection and showed me my best bets.  I have to admit I love my new kicks quite a bit.  Not only are they cute and feel absolutely amazing on my piggies but they are from the sentimental Mizuno company.  I haven't worn that brand since high school when I played on the volleyball court.  I set a goal...I found the means...I sought the help of a pal...and I'm feeling pretty good about all of it.  It's nice to reward a little hard work...now for some bigger plans!!!

Change a Bear Wound Bandage

     This post has been rewritten several times.  It seems on Thursday night my friend, Suzan, defended the life of her beloved dog...and risked her own.  Against.  A. Bear. And her cub.  It was on the news as well as Good Morning America and it has still yet to fully sink in for any of us.  A bear.  She is a brave woman as well as lucky.  She is recovering as is her pooch, Otto...they will both be fine.  I spent some time with her the day after and helped in any way that I could...especially with my little sweeties.  But it still amazes me.  She has a claw marks on her back, staples in her scalp and bandages on both hands.  When one sustains injuries to both hands it is hard to do the simple.  I put on my best nurse hat and helped change one of the dressings.  I am still in awe that the injury was from a BEAR.  Out of respect I was going to skip this post.  I also realize that in comparison to going all tough ass on a bear...simply changing some gauze and some tape is NOTHING...but this was my way of telling Suzan how incredibly amazed and proud I am of her!!!  A hero.  A mom.  An inspiration!!!

Take Time to Read the Letter of a Nine-Year-Old

     I was sitting here thinking about how much I love my kids.  I had just finished a conversation about the safety of children a few minutes before picking them up for school.   The news has the world all buzzing about children and coaches and who is guilty and innocent, etc.  My bottom line is that children need to be protected always.  No matter what.  We headed over to the cool little popcorn shop for a new batch of flavors to snack on while doing homework.  I work with one child while the other practices one of two instruments.  Then they switch.  It gives me the chance to have one on one time with them.  I learn things.  I know where they need help.  In the back of my mind all of the time I worry.  I worry about their safety.  I worry about things that I hear on the news...which is why I avoid the news as much as possible.  I use the term "not on my watch" often to describe the efforts constantly given to protect them.  I know their friends and their parents and try to stay connected whenever possible. 
     You know a relationship is a good one when your nine year old shares things with you.  Today she shared a letter from a friend.  I will now share it with you....

 "Emily I wanted to let you know what I love to do so I made you this list:
  1.  I like fashion
  2.  I like to run around and scream goog! (My word)
  3.  I love to write
  4.  I like to play the flute
  5.  I like cheese!
  6.  I like writing on wipe boards!
  7.  I want to be a fish!
  8.  I think reading class is boring
  9.  I love to dance
10.  I love to sing
11.  I love to read
12.  I like the fantastic feeling you get in your stomach when you go on rollercoasters
13.  I like playing with ribbons
14.  I like playing Mario Kart on Wii
15.  I don't like scissors
16.  I love pajamas
17.  I like playing house and capture the flag
18.  I like beards
19.  I want to learn to write my p's like this...(drew a p)
20.  I secretly think that I'll be famous someday and I come up with pretend interviews in my head all
        day in school. "

She went on to ask my daughter to make a list for her.  I am interested in what she will come up with.  I adore this girl and her family and am thrilled that they are bffs. 
     At the end of the letter I realized that THIS is exactly why we are to protect our children.  All of them.  Every child has a list like this.  They grow up with dreams and passions and excitement.  They deserve to be safe as they pursue them.  I do think this girl will be famous someday....she is pretty darn special.  But whether or not she is...these dreams are still hers. 
     These daily tasks of finding something new are to push me.  They are to remind me of what is right there in front of me.  Inspire me to do more....be more...get more.  They also give my brain, spirit and heart the kind of exercise they need to grow and be better than the day before.   Today I ask you to do something....make a list of the things you liked as a nine year old.  How many of them did you accomplish?  How many were compromised?  How many can you try now because it is never too late?   And please remember that the children of abuse...of any kind...might never get the chance to live out their list with the love of life that they deserve.  They will be plagued by the burdens of abuse....every minute of every day of their lives.  My heart goes out to them and to any of you reading these words. 
     No matter what your childhood...today is the day to make a new list.

Celebrate National Chocolate Cupcake Day

     Every morning Foodimentary tweets me with the National food of the day.  They are often amusing and sometimes even give me snack or meal ideas.  I'll celebrate anything if you give me an excuse.  This morning I was quite excited to see that it was National Chocolate Cupcake Day.  The last time I had my favorite cupcake EVER was back in early September as a birthday treat.  I have to admit I thought about it all day but tried to make the wise (Weight Watcher's member) decision to skip this festive day.  At 5:45pm it hit me...I have been doing so well and these cupcakes are worth every dang point so I will splurge and use up all of my extra points.  I gave Kitchen Chemistry a buzz.  They were closing in fifteen minutes and someone was in the store purchasing my beloved choice of heavenly cake.

SCYMIH  – 7 Chocolates You Meet in Heaven
pronounced “Skimmy”  – Double Chocolate cake, chocolate pudding filling, chocolate butter cream crown filled with ganache, sprinkled with semisweet chips and topped with more chocolate!

Lisa immediately offered to whip some up just for me and even went so far as to say she would wait.  You have never seen a mama and her two kiddos throw on shoes and coats so fast.  We zoomed to town, parked and RAN full speed to make it there.  A plate full of gorgeous and fresh cupcakes awaiting our arrival.  A tall glass of cold milk and a slow and very deliberate style of chewing made the cupcake worth all of the hullabaloo.  I will work with extra diligence for the rest of the week to make up for those 800 points knowing they were worth it!!! Thanks Lisa for helping me to celebrate the day!!!

Glitch

    A new game.  Uh oh.  You have to make cheese, pet pigs, harvest trees and milk butterflies....sheesh.  Eh, it's ok...I worked my butt off today.  Should you join I'll be sure to send you a sammich.  Good luck and don't get addicted...you know who you are.   (I reached level 4 tonight.) Where did the last hour go?

Slept on my Back

     As a child I tucked myself deep into my sheets.  The scary shadows would get me if I wasn't buried under at least one layer of cotton to protect me from the evils of the night.  I was typically on my stomach.   This pattern seemed to last for the rest of my life.  Now, sometimes I do the side-stomach deal with one leg straight out and the other in a bend.  But my face is tucked and my arms are usually twisted up with the pillow.  When you are pregnant they tell you that sleeping on your back is actually dangerous so though it's the only way that would be comfortable when you are larger than life...you shouldn't really do it.  There were lots of years of side sleeping. 
     I am 39 years old.  Between the years of sleeping on my stomach, the warnings about babies and things that go bump in the night that had easier access to my demise should I not be buried....I have never willingly slept on my back.  I was convinced it was impossible.  Lately, I've been waking up in a twist of knots and dead asleep limbs.  Daily.  Last night after flipping one way to alleviate the right arm being painfully numb I turned.  And flipped.  And smashed pillows.  Turned again.  This grown woman could not sleep on her back because she just doesn't do it.  I don't sleep on my back.  Then it hit me.  Just because I have been doing it for all of the years I can remember...doesn't mean I can't claim this whole new position now.  Just because we've always done something one way doesn't mean that we can't do it another way.  Duh. 
     I propped two pillows under my neck and skull.  I found just the right blanket...sheet ratio.  I put my arms all crazy way up over my head and you know what?  I was damn comfortable.  Wow.  I also was not worried about the axe murderer or satanic spirit that could get me in this vulnerable position...I just wanted a good night's sleep.  And I got one. 
     Just because we've always done it one way doesn't mean we can't change.  Pretty big lesson for a seemingly simple new thing....

Nirvana Water

     "Nestled amidst 2,000 acres of untouched wilderness in the majestic Adirondack Mountains is the source that provides Nirvana Natural Spring Water.  This pristine spring water flows to the surface naturally at a constant 42 degrees, attesting to its extremely deep-rooted nature."

(It was on sale for $2.99 a case.)

They can't all be exciting people...they can't all be exciting.  Some days you have to catch up on laundry and food shopping and rest and family time...and then you realize on the way home from the store that sometimes a new thing can be as simple as a delicious bottle of water.  It tastes like the fancy bottled water from an island far away but it's the same price for a case as for one of those bottles.  A whole new week is facing me with a whole new batch of new things awaiting...

Field Trip to Brooklyn with Leigh Ann

     You know those magical days where you feel like you have lived days in just hours?  Yesterday was one of them.  The event started at 2.  We had plenty of time in the Jeep to talk about everything under the sun and we did.  The first stop was in New Jersey to visit with an artist at the Riker Hill Art Park.  After visiting with one...we went on to meet many.  The cast of characters was full and quite interesting.  One artist studio after another our minds were blown by beauty, some crazy and lots of unique.  It put many puzzle pieces together for me of the lives I always hear about at work. 
     Next it was off to Brooklyn.  I got to see real hipsters.  It was fun and funny.  We didn't get to navigate through the streets or check out all of the cool places but we were on a mission. We found the Lovin' Cup as if we were in Alice in Wonderland.  A dark little place with a list of fancy whiskeys.  I don't do whiskey but a Brooklyn Lager in a fat pint glass did just fine.  You know what they say..."When in Brooklyn...".  I had three of the most amazing and oh so tiny sliders.  The meal was wonderful but we settled on this place because down a hallway and through a curtain and a door was another space.  The Cameo.  They do art, music...you name it back there.   We watched Strand of Oak open up for Crooked Fingers and they were both really, really good.  Really good. 
     It was then back to PA.  So... lots of new things squished into one big fat new event and a road trip that left me inspired in more ways than one.  Thanks Leigh Ann, Todd, Ivan, Mr. Nose, Tim and all of the others that made me smile.  It was a good day. 

A Day with Jake

--Trains
--Cariboo
--Memory
--Restaurant
--Disney Game
--Candy Land
--Hide and Seek
--Basketball
--Tag
--Stories
--Swings
...and that was only a fraction of the time spent together.  Yep, Jake is 4 and we had a really nice day! Thanks Jake...it was just as fun for me as it was for you!

Dinner at The Buffet with Mary and Jessie

     Mary has friends.  Lots of them.  She takes time to get together with them...which seems impossible since she has so darn many.  Tonight, she made her way out to a little two day getaway with her long time pal, Jessie.  She is one of the sweetest women to walk the Earth...so when she invited me to join them for dinner I could ONLY say YES!  Their little road trip brought them to the Poconos for some casino and outlets time.  It was kicked off with a dinner at The Buffet.  Now two of us are counting some points so it was a perfect blend of moderation and intelligence with a little splurge for dessert.  Nothing crazy (though I have yet to figure out my points!). 
     We laughed and ate shrimp.  We giggled and had salads.  We people watched over unsweetened iced teas.  We shared stories over the best green beans ever.   We made plans over the perfectly tiny bowl of soft serve ice cream complete with sprinkles.  It was a lovely meal but it fed my soul way more than my tummy. 
     On the way back through the smoky casino (cough, cough) I found a penny heads up and then a quarter heads up and passed them both to the gambler.  I already come out ahead for the night...hope she ends up the same! 

A Rose at Mass for Sally

     I received a letter in the mail from the church a few weeks ago.  They were having a special All Soul's Mass for those of us who had lost someone in the past year.  Tonight at 5:30 we joined together in remembrance.  Each family was given a red rose.  We sang one of the same songs that I selected for the memorial last winter.
     We were all there together to honor them.  Some of the pain could be felt across the room.  I started out strong and found at one point the tears just wouldn't stop flowing.  Quiet and calm...but copious.  It was then I heard her.  She said something so real and so funny (and nothing I could ever share) that it made me smile instantly.  That is Sally.  And tonight we saw her name on a list of the lost.  Still surreal.  To all of you that have lost a dear one this year...a prayer was said in your honor...and my Mom is probably chatting away with them as I type.

Share the Desiderata

      Lately and more than ever I am asking the universe for some answers.  I mean really asking.  I do it on the way to work.  I ask my Ipod to send me a message.  I ask as I'm working.  I thing about it before I go to sleep.  When I wake up...it's my first question of the day.  I even asked while at church tonight...a church I have been starting to wonder about.  I know the universe was warning me but I was ignoring it.  I am listening...I swear.  Themes were big today.  I was fed a most delicious bowl of kale soup by my dear friend and support, Leigh Ann.  She feeds me on a daily basis with way more than just soup.  My sister was also a source of extreme encouragement.  It has been a rough road as siblings but now more than ever she is one of my biggest cheerleaders.  She answered specific questions today without prompt as if she had heard me ask them.  I also turned to Oprah tonight.  It was about rising up from the ashes.  I teared up when she explained that depression and sadness can make you so tired and weary.  Those are the two words I have been using for years.  Tired.  Weary.  I also dug through some papers in a pile today and found a copy of poem.  As a young kid I had written this very poem on the back of a notebook.  I would read it daily.  Sometimes more than once.  I didn't know from mantras or meditations back then.  I was just a kid and yet I was doing what all of the wise people tell me to do now as a grown woman.  As I read through it all of these lost years later I realized that so many of these themes became my own.  I planted seeds and then grew right around them.  I also think I forgot a few and need to get to work.  Either way I will be reading it daily yet again.  The universe heard me loud and clear on a day when things were dark and scary.  Thank you universe and all of you who help me on a daily basis to remember that there are many reasons to just keep going...

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.