Somewhere along the line as adults you lose that magic thing you have in childhood. I have stood and watched my children form instantaneous bonds with kids at the park...random strangers at a party. There is a freedom in being a kid. I want to be your friend. Ok. So simple. We lose that as adults. It's quite sad. We also grow up and the childhood friends that we once adored become obsolete. We are no longer compatible when we have nothing to talk about beyond the old diner in the neighborhood or how many times we rode the Scrambler together. Those bonds are deep and yet fragile all at the same time. There are also the friends that no matter what the circumstances are there...true and bold...no matter what.
I was beginning to question life more than ever. The what ifs. The if only. Had I made all of the right decisions? Did the mandatory career change alter my entire life forever? Was I doing the right thing by my family and children? Should I have moved five times in fifteen years. Did I choose the right paths in the right directions? And the big one...where did I go? College, jobs, moves, friends, marriage, children, pets, old people...where was I in all of this? I was gone. Little bits and pieces of me strewn along the road of life. Now I was parked on a couch. Empty. I got through the day to day challenges with to do lists and color coded charts. I got up and got dressed and made meals. I cleaned and decorated and existed. Merely existed. Numbed by years of my own silence in a world too loud to hear myself think in. Why in a house so full of people was I so lonely?
Enter said "sweater". Once we got past the countless emails replaying our youth there was more. We realized how similar we were in so many ways. Ideals, goals, drives and wish lists were compared and contrasted. We started to help one another find the very voices that had been silenced within ourselves for years. We listened just the way we had all of those years ago. Truly listened. Dates, classmates, work buddies...they are easy to find. Friendship is the hard part. Real, genuine friendship. We have changed our lives since. We have moved from the yesterday and into the tomorrow. It has had its challenges to say the least. We were once again the hand in the darkness to help pull us out of what we could not do alone. We were NOT the reason things were changed but the very parachute that we needed when it was time to jump. And from that we have developed into something so much more. My sweater has taken on many roles in my current life but it all goes back to the core. I can truly be myself and not only is it accepted but it is celebrated. With this power I can find all of the things that made me sparkle and shine and it's just a matter of time until the clouds disperse and the blue skies remind us of how lucky we truly are. Oh and my Mom...well she got the last word after all because I was finally able to look at him in a whole new way. Like the mighty oak tree and its acorn...the potential was all there in the acorn the whole time...it was just a matter of the right conditions...nutrients, warmth and allowing it a space to grow. And don't forget the sunshine.
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