We had the power go out at my house a while back. When that happens we not only have no heat/air but we lose the water as well. It becomes tricky. My Mom called to report the outage and complain and I couldn't help but crack up as I heard her speaking of farmtown. I had joked with her just a bit earlier that my newly planted grapes would rot if nobody was there to harvest them. The power outage was taking out my bumper crop... forget that we would lose a fridge full of food.
It was that bad. I would time the plantings of seeds and the harvesting as well so as to optimize the crop production. I knew the busy times for getting hired and the tricks to get to the levels faster. I had friends that gave me work as far away as Singapore and England. I actually defended it once by saying it brought our huge world just a little bit closer...
Then the second farm came. It seems as if Farmville was a bit brighter and had cooler facilities. Don't think I didn't notice that the two farms began to compete. One was constantly trying to top the other and I profited from their battle. Flowers, animals, rivers full of fish, new tools to use and factories. Plus I got to hire workers and sell my crops and make sushi, apple pies and llama wool. Oh the endless possibilities.
I haven't been on either farm in months. Life just got too busy. They were sitting there neglected and sad. Heck, they still had their outdated decorations up. I never had the time to properly build my stables let alone grow the plots of land that I had. But they were there...if I needed them...they were there. I've been pondering the deletion for some time. I have dedicated farm buddies who still send me goodies and I have neglected them by not returning the favor. I AM SO SORRY for those of you waiting in vain for a brick, goose or fertilizer. Today was the day but it took me until almost midnight to gather the strength. My earlier attempt actually brought about a pain in my chest and some slight hyperventilation. Let me explain the process of my thinking before you feel I am lost forever...
The farm was a green patch of fresh new land. It started tiny and grew with time, devotion and work. My farm became the one place I had some power. I had COMPLETE control over it and I have to say at the time I had control over nothing in my life. I needed the farm. I would watch tv while doing it and was careful not to neglect real life. Constant overachievers typically get no down time. So my rationale was that in my down time I was actually being productive. Maybe I did not have a painting finished or a book read but damn, my farms had well fed livestock, happy farmers and I was loaded...a millionaire in fact! It was a wonderful distraction of what was going on around me. I looked forward to clean fields and selling bushels of fruit. I could be creative in my placement of things, meet people from all over the world and could see the fruits of my labor (had to go there).
Today as I tried to delete them and the panic set in I wondered what in the world was freaking me out. Go to the root, go to the root, go to the root. I would be erasing it all. All of that hard work, time and energy. The little animals would be abandoned. The factory workers would be unemployed. Oh come on now...it was fake! Then it hit me. I was erasing something I had done for a year or two. Countless hours were spent on those farms. My dedication, my creativity, my hard work all washed away with the click of a button. It was the option to have them there....that would be taken away. I can't go back and visit them. Avatars and animated donkeys broke my heart. The symbolism stirred and as it came to me in full force so did the tears. I was having trouble with a fake reality that took months to create - maybe that would explain the trouble of letting go of the REAL LIFE I seem to be having so much trouble releasing back into the universe. The life that has years and years of my blood, sweat and tears. I had to delete these farms to prove to myself that I had the ability to let go at all...of anything. I am terrified and saddened and I miss them already. I think I will make it though and maybe take this energy to plant some real seeds. I've been threatening a garden for years. For you farmers still producing honey, avocados and potato chips...DO NOT FEEL I AM JUDGING YOU. I understand it can JUST BE a fun game. We all have our time wasters. I am still your pal and will miss the surprise gifts sent to my farms. It is simply time to go.
Yours truly, Chrissyeehaw
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