Mistook an Ewok for a turd

     My niece recently mentioned that she felt Grandma looking over them.  I was thrilled to hear that her daughter had made a face like my mother's.   It's been almost four months and I haven't had the feeling that my Mom was around somewhere saying hello.  Which, if you KNEW my Mom seems kind of strange and funny.  We always teased about she would haunt my ass.  I guess she was and I didn't even realize...I've scrubbed two bathrooms on my hands and knees for the first time in a long time.  I've made meals and snacks as if she had whispered into my ear what to make.  In fact, just last night and out of nowhere I blurted out "Kielbasa and Sauerkraut" as if a Jeopardy question had been asked somewhere on a tv in the distance.  I had been wondering what to make for dinner.  I would run to her room on days when I was stuck for a new idea and she would have one waiting on her lips.  Yesterday, the refrigerator computer on the door went bonkers...we blamed a short somewhere in the circuitry.  But I HAVE felt her.  I am sure she is getting a kick out of the cleaning I've been doing lately.  The Sally style cleaning that it is.  Last night I began to weep.  A long soft sad type of cry.  It took me into my slumber.  This morning I awoke with the continuation of a feeling of such loss and despair.  I miss her so.  I opened up a drawer yesterday in the crest room (half craft, half guest) and found my favorite childhood book...it was almost as if she led me to it.  She is everywhere lately.  So back to this morning...the tears were faster and bigger and the feeling was overwhelming.   The charging ipod in the hallway started lighting up in a weird way and hasn't done it since.  She was here and probably frustrated that she couldn't hug me and make it all better.  I got up on the opposite side of the bed today to look for tissues.  I looked down to see a weird chunk of cat litter (this of course isn't weird with my odd cat and goofball dog).  But as I followed the litter trail it led to a turd.  Ugh!  Not at 5:30 in the morning.  Only on closer inspection I discovered it was a plastic Ewok on his stomach.  It looked just like a turd.  This immediately put me into a giggle.  I thought about how hysterically funny my Mom would have found that.  We found humor in the oddest of places.  We spent twenty years poking fun of the time she thought a rock was a sheep on some field we were passing.  "Oooohhhh, look at the sheep!!!!" with such excitement.  I replied with a "Mom, that was a rock" and then laughed for what seemed like hours.  We still could and DID laugh about it all of the time.  I have her sense of humor.  It's weird and goofy and dark and sarcastic but it's us.  It also got me out of one of the saddest feelings I have yet to experience thus far and for that I thank her, the laughter that she taught me to love and the little plastic Ewok turd on the rug.