Afternoons with Christa

     This is the second Thursday in a row that I spent some time learning about clay with possibly the sweetest person on the planet.  Christa does a ton of stuff at MudWorks and teaching me how to make things has been added to her list.  She is patient and clear in her directions as she teaches you the millions of little steps and details that some of the work involves.  Today for my new thing I created magnets.  Dragonflies, teapots, butterflies and flowers.  All from a lump of clay.  Some of them had many intricate little doodads.  It's a nice feeling to make something from nothing.  Ironically, I came home to see that my caterpillars had turned into the chrysalis that comes next...growth and change everywhere.  I will end the first half of my "year of the new" wrapped up in my cocoon.  The next half will bring the butterfly...

Amaranth & Goat Cheese Frittata

     Yesterday we left the CSA with amaranth and our first artisan product...a local goat cheese.   This morning we dined on something brand new and very tasty! 

New habits, new mistakes, new thinking

     The format of this new thing is a bit different and since it is my challenge I get to make up the rules.  The trigger for this post occurred this morning when I realized I had overslept.  Let's rewind a bit.  Little by little I am trying to figure out what has worked as well as what has been unsuccessful in my life.  I am doing all of this to define the life I want to be living instead of the one that was happening around me.  This means hard work, growth, change and new habits.  I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about the duties of motherhood.  I was saying that we need to change what isn't working.  I realized I should be taking my own advice.  So on Sunday night I did the laundry.  Why is this a big deal?  I do laundry during the day.  During the day when I could be spending valuable time playing or teaching my children.  Now if you know me at all you know that it seems like I do that quite a bit.  I spend the summer teaching the "letter of the day" for goodness sake...but I still feel like I don't have enough time to do what I really want to with them.  So this week I did laundry late on Sunday to free up Monday morning for the good stuff.  We spread catalogs and magazines all over the table and created collages...yes, we are up to C.  I didn't have to spread myself over the usual ten things at a time I am trying to accomplish.  Instead, I spent my energy on them.  I ended up accomplishing quite a bit anyway that day...despite my creative time.  I then changed a few things I would've done during the day and they worked out nicely as well.  I pushed dinner up a bit early to do something crazy.  We went to the pool after dinner and closed it down.  Bedtimes were out the window.  I broke out of my own regimen  for the perfect bedtime and realized that perfection comes in different forms.  I watched as my little guy played joyfully in a pool that he feared only weeks ago.  I watched as he dunked his blond little head into the water and how his sister can do flips and handstands already.  I watched as my old father sat there taking it all in.  I also swam and played in the water.  For hours.  This body had adapted nicely to the new food and the new movement it was getting and we were celebrating.  All of us were welcoming the beginning of summer and the new peacefulness it brought to us. 
     Back to the oversleeping.  Seems too much caffeinated iced tea and a few too many laps energized me too much.  I stayed up until normal time but then crashed.  Crashed.  Hard.  The noise of my daughter and the dog leash meant it was 7:30am but the digital clock showed me that it was actually 8:45am.  Everyone had slept a little sounder and a little longer than usual.  I can't remember the last time I slept in past 8 and typically I am up around 5am.  Even when sick as a dog the world makes demands on me that don't allow time for extra slumber.  I got up in a tizzy with panic as I ran around catching up for lost time.  I've overslept only a handful of times my entire life so it must be a comical scene to watch.  I then took a breath and realized the old me would've had been destroyed by such a mistake.  The new me let me off of the hook.  I am making changes.  I am learning.  I will make mistakes.  Maybe this one saved me from a fatal accident or kept my children safe from some incident.  Either way I got ready and made it to work just fine.  I am lucky to have an understanding boss.  One that didn't mind if the smell of chlorine and aloe was still lingering on my darkened skin. 
     I am not only defining the new attitudes that I want to have but I am living them.  It is easy to name a bunch of things you hope to change someday.  It is simple to throw out some ideas.  But to change...really change...is hard.  As I approach the halfway point of this year's journey I am feeling pretty good.  Here and there the new thing might be a negative one...like sleeping in...a flat tire...a loss of some sort...or worse...but they do make you realize you are indeed changing.  They are a testament to the growth.  You don't really know how much you have changed until you are tested.  It is easy to be great when things are simple...it's when things are hard that you either rise or fall.  As I drove to work this morning it hit me...I've been living a bunch of these new habits for quite a while now.  I am aware now because I overslept on a Tuesday...well, that and everything that led up to it.

Order a reward bathing suit

     Every summer the Land's End catalog comes in the mail and taunts me with its pretty new bathing suits.  Sure I've purchased bathing suits before but I have to be honest it has been a long, long, long time.  My last bathing suit was from my 20's I believe and it died and slow and painful death.  The one I'm using now...I will whisper where it's from (it's my Mom's and I have no idea what year it is from).  Pathetic I know.  But this kid who grew up with a pool and went on to become a lifeguard had her share back in the day and I guess I used up some strange bathing suit points early in life.  When we joined the pool not only did I worry about squishing myself into a bathing suit but then I realized I really didn't have one. 
    This coming Wednesday I will hit my four week point on WW.  I have played around with losing this weight here and there.  I have made goals but I have never written them down...until now.  I have an actual thermometer with goals.  Ya know how they have the huge signs with how much money is raised for a charity and the goals that they are hitting?  Yep, one of those but it's only on a small piece of 8x11 paper not a billboard.  My ten pound goal was to get a new bathing suit.  Today as I weighed in I saw the numbers that meant I had a new bathing suit coming to me.  One that didn't have such worn elastic that the shoulders kept falling down.  One that was brand new.  One that fit.  Wouldn't you know I received an email this afternoon from a little company named Land's End.  I'm most certain they heard about my goal and how I had achieved success and sent it for the special occasion.  25% off of any item and free shipping.  Add that to the current sale and I just ordered my $99 suit for about $40!!! I don't know what I am more excited about the weight loss or the pretty new suit.  See you at the pool in my new black bathing suit...I'll be the one treading water for 1 activity point and shooting for those new sneakers!!!

Movies at the Casino with Tina and Gabby

     It was Tina's first time ever at the Casino Theater and my first time there with Tina so it was a new thing for all!  The Casino is a cute little theater with a play area, mini golf and snack bar.  Today we went to the early show which saves you about half of what you would normally pay at a regular theater.  We saw Cars 2.  I will refrain from a review about the movie but the event itself was something different and definitely fun!!!
     As a little extra new thing on the way back down 611 we stopped at the haunted candle shop.  That turned out to be quite the event in itself.  It might just be the strangest store I have ever been in.  Giggles were plenty as we walked through the odd assortments of stuff.  I'm a tad bit afraid of the nightmares I might have tonight and I didn't even enter the "haunted" part.  All in all it was a blast and a wonderful way to spend part of our  Sunday. 

Bear Mountain Butterfly Sanctuary

     I have a thing for butterflies.  I have seen them at the Bronx Zoo and the Museum of Natural History and Reptiland.  If there is a fine mesh containing them and classical music playing in the background I can spend hours in there with them.  Hours.  When I discovered that there was a whole place dedicated to them I couldn't wait for the spring to arrive.  Today we made the trip to Jim Thorpe to a strange little building that was the Bear Mountain Butterfly Sanctuary.  There was a movie and small talk about the butterflies.  It was funny and informative.  But then the magic...we were allowed to enter a room that upon first inspection was a bit odd but turned into a world of pure bliss.  Monarch butterflies fluttered about us.  Landed on us.  Tickled our cheeks.  We were allowed to put sugar water on our hands and hold them ever so gently.  At one point the woman ran outside to get milkweed and placed it in a vase.  She then looked for females and put them on the leaves...within seconds we watched her lay an egg.  Thoughts of The Very Hungry Caterpillar streaming through my brain.  Classical music was put on as she explained that the butterflies seem to like the vibration of the strings.  We now know how to discern a male from a female and learned about their anatomy and stages.  All those fancy places I've watched the butterflies and I learned more today than I've ever known.   There is something quite wondrous about holding a butterfly.
     I've been talking about butterflies lately and how I feel like I am changing as well.   It was surreal when the woman speaking to us about their developmental stages went on to tell us something quite special. We sat there completely intrigued by her words and demeanor and knowledge.  She said that once the caterpillar had its cocoon it changed within it.  Each day it became a little bit more butterfly and a little less caterpillar.  Each second it shifted from one to the other.   She said that the heart of the caterpillar lived on as the heart of the butterfly.  It was the only part that stayed the same as the creature changed from one stage to the next.  Its heart stayed true.  It was there within the creature that transformed.  This brought tears to me eyes.  Who would've thought that a tiny little building with diagrams and fake flowers could sum it all up so tenderly. 
     Another beautiful moment was when the woman described how the butterflies we were so gingerly holding were slowly dying.  Their wings were fading and some were even tattered.  They would be laying eggs and starting the next generation.  She went on to say that it didn't matter because they loved all of the butterflies...even the older ones with wings that weren't so vibrant and perfect.  When you leave a place and your five year old has remembered facts about what he has learned that day it makes you feel good as a parent and educator.  When your kids spend the car ride pretending to be butterflies looking for nectar and flowers you realize it was fun as well.  When your nine year old mentions how things don't need to be perfect to be wonderful you realize something much bigger has happened.  And when you leave a place feeling like something spiritual has occurred you are blessed that all things led you to that place at that very time. 
     I pulled a sheet off of one of those inspirational quote-of-the-day calendars back in March and have had it up near my bed as a reminder...
    "A butterfly and caterpillar seem very different.  Yet the power to transform existed within its being from the beginning."

A Day with the Ladies

     It has been hard enough to find the time to spend with anyone.  Our lives are full.  Yet today turned out to be a day full of my friends.  It started with a breakfast at Compton's.  Jenne and Greta met me and the kids for some giggles and pancakes.  I can't believe how big they are all getting.  Our outing was extended as we headed to Target.  I will take them any way I can get them!
     Next, I received a text from Tina asking if we could get the kids together.  So we ran over before the skies opened up and enjoyed a few hours with our other girls.  Tina created a loft space in the garage complete with fresh canvases, paintbrushes and an assortment of paints.  We caught up on life while the kids listened to songs in between booms of thunder.  Some beautiful artwork was created and the kids can't wait to do it again.  I'm sort of glad the rains came...it made for a cool little vibe. 
     Tonight was the MudWorks party to celebrate the Grand Opening!  I caught up with my girl Leigh Ann and giggled with my other minions.  It was a lovely evening for a family that deserves much love and success!
     Life can be busy.  Mine has been challenging lately as well.  I find myself floating sometimes and in need of the tethers of friendship.  I love to spend time with the women I have found to be such great blessings in my life.  They keep me grounded.  They make me laugh.  They are the "sisters" I've always wanted.  I miss them.  We are far from the days when we could shop for hours or go out drinking and dancing.  Now we find little pockets of time for coffee or a movie.  We schedule things around our kids' events.  We are there for the big moments...we wouldn't miss them for the world.  Someday it will all balance.  Sometimes when I see an older group of women sitting in a diner laughing and talking I think of us and how we will be.   Our hair will have some grey and our faces will have lines but we will have decades of friendship between us.  Life has thrown us plenty...and we haven't gone anywhere yet...so I think it's safe to say we are stuck with each other and I wouldn't want it any other way! 

(PS...Sandi, I haven't forgotten about you! We'll do something soon I promise!!!)

New Address Book

     I was given my address book back in 1996.  It was a gift from my sister and the theme of the book was "Victorian Flowers".  She found it amusing to give me a book with a giant "Victoria" on the front since this is her name.  For years I have filled it up with family and friends.    I also use a Christmas card book to make little check marks near the names included in the annual tradition of the holiday card.   The last few years grew complicated.  My mother was no longer feeling well enough to sit and write out her list of cards.  My Dad was growing sad at how many names had been scratched off.  He is 85 and the youngest of his tribe of nine so there were lots of beloved friends and family with black lines through them.  Writing out the holiday cards got even more complicated this past year.  Not only did I have to write out the cards for all of us because Mom was ill in the hospital for weeks but halfway through the completion of the stack...she passed away.  I also had to edit my list as my own separation made it even more complex.  The piles of photo cards, envelopes, stamps and lists sat there frozen on the dining table for weeks.  Time had stopped.  If you got a card of my adorable children and pooch this past year consider yourself lucky.  If you didn't please forgive me for it was complicated to say the least.
     After analyzing my own book I realized that it had saddened me as well.  Divorces, deaths and long lost pals no longer needed cards but were still there as reminders of a time gone by.  Somewhere in the back of my mind for what seems like years was the need for a new book.  A fresh one.  No crossed out addresses.  Fresh lines where the rule of "pencil only" could apply.  At least that way it just takes the swipe of an eraser to clean out the cobwebs.
     On my recent NY trip I found the perfect new addy book.  It is The Metropolitan Museum of Art New York book and it features gorgeous art work from many different artists and styles while all honoring my city.  Tonight I will transfer the information. 
Here are some interesting things that have been stored within the pages:
· I found a sealed envelope tucked away.  it was an invite to Ethan's 1st bday party.  He's five.
· Address change card from niece and nephew...when they only had a cat named Pandora.  Now they have a pooch named Potato and two gorgeous baby girls. RIP, Pandora.
· A  card for my friend Colleen that was returned for incorrect address.  It had my old address from several years ago.  I opened it and it was a congrats card for the birth of Aidan.  I wonder how old he is now.
· A family newsletter from a friend of mine from 2003.
· A business card from Emmy Josephs: Licensed Massage Therapist (one of you will get a kick out of this)
· The number from a midwife I never used
· Phone number for Tina @ Penney's
·Business card from my friend Chris...three jobs ago
· Directions to somewhere...maybe I should drive to see where it takes me
·Business card from Chris' wife, Nicole...two jobs ago

And a few other tidbits:
·Matt Arnold (aka Balti) I wonder where you are these days
·there are two people for which I have no recollection
·I have completely lost touch with some old co-workers
·In Memoriam: Aunt Rose & Uncle Paul, Jeff Broxterman, Jay & Deanie Peck, Uncle Tony, Annabell Rice, Giorgio Tavani, Annette,  Courtney, Hans and Pop Pop Ed (that does not include my Mom's book)

I will move the names and addresses.  Some of you have moved quite a bit.  Some are divorced.  Others are married.  There are new last names.  There are tiny names added to margins.  Some are ghosts completely forgotten until this moment.  Maybe I should have left well enough alone.  Maybe we should write in black ink as to never forget.  I mean...if you have earned a space in the book you must be pretty special, right? Maybe I can transfer a few honorary members but it is time to change out the old with the new.    Goodbye, cover laced with Victorian flowers...hello, Spring in Central Park.

Weed Whacked

     Killed several birds with one stone today...got my new thing, cleaned up the yard, released some aggression on the nasty little weeds and earned some activity points!

Señor Bullfrog & Kevin

     After a morning that included a pick up from the emergency room, food shopping, errands, my letter "A" day and laundry it was time for a break.  It was also sunny...so the pool beckoned.   I attempted to catch up on magazines which is a hopeless cause in itself and catch a few rays.  I did a little of both.  Then I decided to join the kids in the pool.  While treading water in the deep end I noticed a noise that I thought was some crazy bird.  So like a goofball I was checking out the nearby bush and tree for the bird that surely made its way to the Gap all the way from the Amazon...or maybe Australia.   Then I realized that the noise was a little too close to my head.  I searched and found  a tiny pipe hole in the side of the pool.  I thought I saw a little face in it but thought it was just the sun, squinting and imagination playing tricks on me.  Upon closer investigation I realized it was indeed a frog.  But who was he answering?  I had to know.  I started inspecting every little filter box on the sides of the pool.  I did find his friend tucked in the top of one of the openings.  I whispered to my daughter to come and check them out.  I then grabbed my little guy...ever so quietly as to not let on to the other ten children about our amazing discovery.   I was afraid they might bother the little critters and we all know how sensitive my family seems to be with that topic. 
     We dispersed and went back to our regular activities.  A few minutes later the discovery was made once again but this time by the exact little boy I feared would find the creature.  It turned out to be just fine though.  In fact, not only did the whole collection of kids find the frogs but they hung out for quite a bit looking at them.  My little activist was sure to take her post right there in the middle of them protecting any silly decisions that the others might have made.  I was proud of her for being the little amphibian advocate.  The funniest part was when the children went on to argue over the names they would need.  There they were...a range of ages...boys and girls...trying to pick the perfect names.  They settled on Señor Bullfrog and Kevin.  I giggled as I made my way back to the sunny chair that would give me a few minutes of rest before the even busier night kicked in.  All of those years  playing in pools and I've never found hiding frogs and if I did and have long forgotten I'm pretty sure it's safe to say their names were not the same. 

Lunch with the Ladies and a Boy

     We have all waited for what seems like forever for summer.  Summer means ice pops, sunny days AND a certain friend of ours comes back into our lives.   Tina is a teacher...and a mom...and a newlywed...and a grad student...oh, and she is pregnant.  She has been a tad bit busy and we let her slide for most of the year but we start making demands as soon as we hear that school is out.  Now you would think that knowing she has such a demanding life on top of the fact that she's pregnant means we would spoil her a bit...but no, today she spoiled us. 
     I jumped at the chance to spend some time catching up so I offered to do anything.  She treated us to a wonderful afternoon.  The girls (Jenne and Greta, Tina, Emily and myself) chatted while Ethan completely accepted that he was the lone boy of the group.  We had sandwiches and fruit, olives and cheese.  I had lots of lettuce.  My friends were very helpful and concerned about my points...and we giggled as I chomped on crisp romaine.   We sat on a swing and made fun of ourselves.  We watched the kids play with hoola hoops and bubbles.  We listened to stories we all had to tell.  We laughed about goofy stuff and sympathized about the hard parts of life.  The conversation went from death to parenting and everything in between. 
    While sipping tea and chomping on grapes we caught up, reviewed and planned.  We spoke about the past and looked at the future.  We took the time to just be with one another...something not always so easy lately.  There was a moment when I realized that we have been doing this for quite some time now.  We are all grown up and yet whenever I spend time with my girls I always seem to feel my youngest.  We can be silly.  We can be serious.  We are cheerleaders for one another.  We are Virgos who remind each other that is ok to be imperfect. 
     We can probably count on one hand the amount of times we have gotten together like this.  We have never done it with our dear Tina preparing for a new baby.  We couldn't help but make all of those annoying noises that women can make when they are excited.  We might've even rubbed her belly a bit...which she lovingly allowed.  We missed the last baby days all of those years ago and there is something so special about the chance to live it with her this time.  So much so that we have agreed to go to not one but two showers...lol.  Tina, you are only getting one gift...I don't care how many you invite us to!
     So to my "sisters" and fellow Virgo mamas...thank you for a wonderful afternoon full of intelligent conversation, immature giggles and everything else that we stirred up.  I hope it is the first of many.  Life is too short to be too busy to make time.  Love you guys!

A Date with Dad

     I'm sure my father and I have eaten alone before but I honestly can't remember when just the two of us went to dinner...just us.  First we headed to the model air show where we watched pilots and their aircraft do dips and dives over a field.  This was a tradition started years ago that has since faded off until today.  Only this time there were no children and no Mom.  Just Cookie and Chester.  It was sunny and fun but it definitely felt like it was missing a little something.
     Then we headed to a restaurant where we caught up a little bit on life.  I realized how quiet the table was with just the two of us.  We tend to be the listening ones at the table.  Two "listeners" make for a quiet meal.  He did throw in a little something here and there about my Mom.  How they would drive down this road or eat at that restaurant...etc.  I feel very helpless in these moments. 
     My father has done a great deal for me through the years.  He was the most dedicated man a family could ask for.  I try very hard to connect him to us as much as I can.  I make sure we tend to his needs and keep him company but today I just felt sorry that I couldn't give him back the people that he misses so.  There were days when the table was so full we had to take turns...and today there were two of us and a few chairs taunting us as they sat empty.  It was bittersweet.  We had a nice time being the two mellow goofballs that we are...give a man some ribs and his vanilla ice cream and all is good with the world...at least for a bit, anyway.

Bobby's Burger Palace

     You might have heard of a little chef named Bobby Flay.  Well he seems to have a couple of restaurants and today I got to check one of them out.  The interior design is as delicious as the burger and sweet potato fries.  I went with the Napa Burger complete with tangy goat cheese, special sauce and watercress on the most incredible bun.  The fries were perfect as was the dipping sauce.  It was a perfect meal to top off a few hours in the sun and sand.  I highly recommend it but don't make me choose between Shake Shack and Bobby's!

Sushi

     Eh.

That was going to be my entire post.   Just "eh".  I was worried about some of you with that as my response though.  Listen, I love the plates and the little bowl of soy sauce.  The names are cute.  The concept is beautiful.  I love rice and veggies.  But I have to say I'm missing something because I just don't see the huge appeal that it has.  I did eat a salad with ginger dressing with my chopsticks though and I am pretty proud of that!!!

Midnight in Paris

     I took in a film this fine spring evening...a Woody Allen one at that.  It was wonderful.  I don't want to give the plot away because it is what makes it so magical but it is romantic and sweet and very entertaining.  It brings a bit of history to life.  From the  lovely music and stunning costumes to the city of Paris and all of its splendor it was like taking a trip around the world without leaving the little town of East Stroudsburg.

First phase of "the talk" with Emily

     Tonight I spent an hour tucked away with my daughter.  Little comments here and there.  Odd questions popping up.  She IS nine.  So, I took the opportunity to grab a great little book I found at the library.  It was designed as an introduction to the challenges of being a girl and it did a fine job.  We discussed grooming and growth.  We talked about emotions and hormones.  We reviewed various body parts and what would be happening to them.  Tatas and hoo hoos.  (Oh relax...I used all of the proper terminologies.) I even went deeper and talked about stress reduction and the tools to deal with what life throws at you.  I geared it toward a little girl but didn't treat her like a baby.  I have been laying the bricks of a strong foundation for years for a mother and daughter relationship that is honest, loving and kind.  I will welcome whatever she has to ask about or discuss.  These little talks, though somewhat uncomfortable, are just a sampling of the bigger ones to follow someday.   I was proud of her for being mature and intelligent.  I was proud of me for being so comfortable in my own skin that we could discuss anything that came up.  I want to be everything my mother was to me and everything she wasn't.  We are off to a great start. 

New Detour

     I moved to Stroudsburg back in '90.  There is a bridge that I would take to the other part of town.  I moved five or so years ago and now I have to take the bridge almost daily.  A while back this bridge won an award...for being one of the worst in the state.  We have been watching it crumble daily.  A sign went up that the bridge was closing.  The newspaper stated that it will take eighteen months to repair.  Weeks ago the sign was amended with a new date.  I breathed a sigh of relief because this main artery to town will change things up quite a bit when it closes.  A new sign and a new date was posted.  Once again we were spared.  But today I went through the brand new traffic light and took the detour.  For the first time since living in this area I was blocked from the bridge.  As I navigated this new detour (which really is just a pain...nothing too crazy) it gave me an insight into life.  Sometimes you have to take a different way to get to the same place.  My Dad has always said, "You're never really lost you are just going a different way".  The road is blocked and the bridge will be torn down.  I will have to go a longer distance on a less convenient road.  I will have to allow for some extra time but I will come out in the same place.  Maybe we are supposed to be at a certain spot on the road of life and detours get in our way...so it might delay things but in the end we wind up just where we are supposed to be.  Now I will use this extra few minutes that it takes to get to town to remind myself that sometimes you have to go around the thing that blocks you to get to where you need to be.  It will take some deconstructing and some rebuilding but in the end the growth and change makes for a safer ride and some added character. 

A pea fight

     Call the authorities!!!  Let me explain.  Yesterday was a day of tension.   I spent the morning trying on dresses (like 40 of them) with Mary.  Then there was the piano recital.  Then all hell broke out.  It was a night of high drama and much sadness.  It continued all night.  But parenthood doesn't allow a cranky mommy so I wake up and start fresh.  A little boy running at you full speed for a hug helps...I must admit.  The rest of the day was busy.  We planned (my letter of the day crazy kicks in next week), cleaned, and organized.  We rearranged some furniture as if we had a show on the new Oprah network.  A little guy was so excited to see his sis come home early.  We are all very excited about summer...but there was still some tension leftover.  A big week is ahead.  Dinner seemed off.  Not the usual happy banter and silly shenanigans.  It was then I did what any good mother would do.  I threw a pea at Pop.  Yep, you read right.  Bounced right off of his "farhead" onto the table and back up into his water glass.  Giggles ensued.  I threw a second pea.  The children looked at me.  I am the enforcer of etiquette, the police of polite, the mistress of manners.  What the hell was I doing?  I threw another.  Pop grabbed a handful and got me good.  It was on.  Pea by pea we bounced, shot, dribbled and aimed.  They bounced off of heads, glasses, and noses.  They went down shirts and in armpits.  One by one...we emptied the bowl.  Ella thought she died and went to heaven.  I was happy to not be crying.  Ethan finished his dinner in between throws.  Giggling had replaced grumbling so I did my job.  The tension was thrown out of there like a handful of green veggies and we had one happy pooch as well. 

Mollies with Mary

     The title should be a sitcom.  Then again, Mary should have a reality show.  She never fails to entertain me.  From the way she orders food to the colorful way that she tells a story I am usually the one cracking up.  Breakfast took a serious turn as I realized she was leaving soon after.  There was plenty to talk about and even more to ponder.  You know how when you are about to head out on vacation you are just beaming with excitement?  It is all in front of you.  Lots of time and lots to do.  Then there is the anticlimactic last day as you are packing up your stuff and heading back....well that's what it feels like when Mary is leaving.  I have always adored her.  She has brought me years of laughter and life lessons and wisdom.  Now she is more.  She is the dearest friend and an adopted mother as well.  We share so many of the same values and opinions.  So as I sat there thinking of her departure I grew sad.  Shoot, now we even compare WW points together...just one more way to give each other support.  I had a wonderful weekend with Mary.  I am lucky to get her because she is always in great demand.  I will try to be strong this weekend without her and wish her the best time ever...because Mary is one woman who deserves only the best!!!

Hilltop Drive In

     It's one of those places you pass.  You think it's cute but you pass it...always on the way to somewhere else.  Lately, I drive by it to head to work.  This time I pulled over.  The food is typical ice cream stand fare but with cute little titles.  They have a really great play area for the kids but it was gross out so we will save that for a sunny day and another new thing.  The indoor arcade made up for it though (which is code for "they had a pinball machine" so I was happy).  After a simple lunch and a few games we headed up to MudWorks for the first tour since I started there.  Now my family knows what it all looks like...right down to the colors of the painted walls which up until now were only smudges on my clothes.  A calm day after a big one. 

The Most Amazing Day in NYC with Mary

     We missed the Mother's Day trip that we originally wanted to take...and I am so glad that we did.  It was a day of magic.  We were dropped off steps away from the plaza near the Today Show.  It was a last minute decision almost done on a whim.  I hadn't realized it was the Friday concert series.  We were hours early and found good spots.  That was only the beginning.  After settling on a space that we liked we turned around and right in front of our faces were Matt, Ann and Al.  Mary was thrilled.  She caught Al in one direction and Matt in the other.  Famous sightings 3, Touches 2.  The Script concert was awesome as well.  We moved on.
     I had the sudden thought  to try to get tickets to the NBC sets.  We found our way to the ticket area only to see the sign stating that tickets were sold out.   Mary was sure to ask should they have missed a few...she also threw in a deep sigh and said it was a big shame since she came all the way from California.  Liar, liar pants on fire.  Slightly bummed we left the building and turned the corner.  A girl handed us something.  We didn't even realize what it was.  Stand-by tickets for Jimmy Fallon.  My heart started pounding.  I heart Jimmy so I was excited but really had no idea what this meant as far as our journey.  We moved on.
     After being up since 4:30am without eating we decided it was time to dine.  The golden arches are a tradition with this woman so we headed on over.  On the way something quite interesting caught my eye.  A man had a collection of cushions for his pets all lined up on the sidewalk.  The two dogs I could understand...the cat, well I was impressed...but the guinea pig sitting on top like a princess amazed me.  How does a man get a guinea pig to just stay on a pillow only steps away from Time Square?!?  I can't get my kid to sit in his chair the whole time at dinner.   As I ate my fancy NY McDonald's oatmeal I couldn't stop thinking about the animals.  How loyal and sweet they all seemed together.  How odd and special.  But that's New York now isn't it?  We moved on.
     After a brief people watching session from Times Square we made our way to Dylan's Candy Bar.  It was on the must see list.   One detour through Bryant Park and twenty-something blocks later we arrived.  It was as close to Willy Wonka as one could get and we took in every delicious visual treat.  From the gumball tables to the gummy candy filled staircase I marveled.  We left no candy bar unturned.  It is a must see and we need to go back...this time with the kids.   On our way out we heard that Tom Cruise was at the neighboring Starbucks.  This turned out to be false but someone famous was there.  3 black vehicles and double digit men with earpieces meant something.  We did not recognize them but they were something special with the fanfare and exit that was displayed for the waiting crowd.  Famous sightings 3.2, Touches 2.
     A cab ride later we arrived at special destination spot number two.  Shake Shack.  Give me a magazine with an article comparing the three best burger joints and I'll stand in line for ten minutes outside, another ten inside and wait for my order for another ten.  Was it worth it?  Was it the best burger ever?  Damn skippy it was.  I ate it slowly and enjoyed those points guilt free.  I skipped the shake but it was the burger I was after all along anyway.  We moved on.
     Now we meandered a bit.  Mary wanted the horrible tourist shops that the natives avoid...I found them amusing.  We checked out menus and venues as we walked.  Something tugged at us to head back to the studio area.  We shot upstairs to see about the next process with the taping of Jimmy.  Then Mary got thirsty so we headed toward the cafe....oh wait....Ryan Seacrest was there.  Right there.  He was a sweetie and Mary was sure to tell him that we would be seeing the tour.  I think I touched his arm in my head but I don't think my hand moved so it doesn't count.  Famous sightings 4.2, Touches 2 and a daydream.  We found the girl with the clipboard and were some of the first to check in!!!! Score! Wrong...turns out that order didn't matter.  We perused the gift shop and killed some time.  Back to the line at the big sign for Stand-by.  We were FIRST! Score again!  Wrong again...turns out that order doesn't matter either.  They made us get in ticket number order.  I looked down at my number 57 and 58 and felt like Charlie when he opened the candy bar with no golden ticket.  Maybe Dylan's was still oozing back out of me.  We lined up in order....the intern with the bad suit and badge came over...and stated that they were taking up to a certain number....in the 40's.  Heartbroken we moved with the line of losers.  UNTIL....like a little angel from Boston a man handed us 2 tickets...numbers 21 and 22.  We were set.  Once the bracelet was placed on my arm and we were escorted through the metal detectors I let it all sink in.  We were indeed going to see Jimmy Fallon.  Mary was thrilled at her chance to be famous.  The show was hysterical.  Absolutely hysterical.  We saw The Roots, Jason Lee, Emma Roberts and DJ Quik.  I've lost count with the famous people but I do know the touch count because I got to high five the man himself as he ran up through the crowd.   The day was magical.  Simply magical.
     At one point while waiting for what seemed like an eternity to find out if we were "in" or not...I started to look worried.  Mary told me to relax and have positive thoughts.  She reminded me that we deserved a really great day.  We are caretakers.  We tend.  We worry.  This was our day.  It was our turn  and the universe really seemed to be happy to thank us.  I had no plans, no maps, no guides....just a few hopes to see a candy shop and eat a good burger.  The rest just all fell into place.  I worried about what I would owe back and sure enough I paid in full a day or two later but man was our Friday in Manhattan a little bit of cosmic love.

Daisies and Whales

     I'm sure you are noticing a trend...Thursday is a work day.  I think they are kind enough to throw me a new thing here and there because let's face it - 365 is a big number.  Today I was shown the process of sanding the glaze off of the adorable whale mug and then painting it.  I also did the same process with daisy bowls.  One more step in knowing the thousands that go into the work at this company.  Thanks crew at MudWorks!

Sesame Chicken & Bok Choy Stir Fry

     Ok, so it isn't life changing...or is it?  I'm on my second week of new and improved eating.  Yesterday was crop  share day at the CSA.  Most items were repeats from last week...don't know what to do with the stinging nettle this week.  One item was new - bok choy.  I looked for a recipe within WW and found one.  It smelled like a restaurant as I cooked dinner.  Oh, and I made an amazing salad for tomorrow's lunch as well complete with chicken and an original recipe.  I spent about an hour whirling about in the kitchen washing fresh veggies in the sink and seeing which ones would not make the "spit-out" from the dog.  I busted out the wok.  I used sesame oil.  I grated fresh ginger. 
     I have loved cooking for what seems like forever but years ago somewhere between retail jobs and babies and ill mothers and housework it became more about speed, ease and picky eaters.  Today, it was about me and the food.  The celebration of it.  Creativity, precision and health were all of the goals.  Oh and taste, of course.
     It was a morning of chores and tasks and an evening of laps and treading at the pool but the afternoon was spent in the kitchen.  Though still a bit rushed at least it was time that I carved out for myself.  I am prioritizing with a different goal.  Who knew all of that would come from a head of bok choy...

Bun, Bob and Berries

     After work today I passed Heckman Orchards.  I always look at it and think ahead to the apples in the autumn.  I see the loads of flowers but they really aren't in my budget this year.  But today I noticed the huge banner that said "Fresh Strawberries".  I drove by... for about ten seconds and then I found the first safe place to turn around and head back.  I bought a quart of them and headed back to the car.  I opened the sunroof and windows and took a bite.  I can't repeat the word that I shouted out loud but it was worth every letter.  They were delicious little rubies of magic.
     As I moved past the main road and onto the winding little country road that takes me to the valley I needed to find the music that fit just right.  Just right with my sunny shoulders, the heat and the fresh berries.  Bob Marley won out.  (He isn't just for barbeques, beers and beach parties ya know.) I also threw my hair into one of those haphazard buns.  As I drove I realized it was one of those moments that you cherish.  Peaceful.  Beautiful.  Serene.  The kind that make you thank the world for giving you so much.  I picked up my daughter and handed her the basket.  She went for the biggest and juiciest one.  "This is not even the same thing you get at the store...it's a whole different fruit".  Exactly oh wise child...exactly.  I am now extra excited to go to the farm tonight for my shares.
      Something new doesn't have to be fancy or expensive or crazy.  It can be tender and sweet.  As sweet as a basket of berries.

By the way... for those of you worried that the last "new thing" was something that happened TO ME as opposed to something new that I did...well, for you please know that I made a Cilantro and ginger shark steak salad complete with honey roasted almonds, craisins, carrots, green peppers and mixed greens with a homemade cilantro and lime vinaigrette.  Bam...there's your new!

Twice bitten, ants fly

     The pool water is still quite cold but it doesn't slow me down.  Or the kids.  Yesterday, while swimming Emily let out a yelp and insisted that she was stung by a bee.  We knew it was something but couldn't figure out just what.  So today while I was swimming in the deep end I felt this horrible zap in my arm...it welted up and burned.  I believe ya now kid...karma took care of ya ;).  Oh wait...then Ethan got it on his chest.  He proceeded to yell out that he had a third nipple.  That got a chuckle out of the ladies lounging in their chairs.  But karma (just to make sure I understood this little life lesson) had me get it in the other arm as well.  This one caused a blurted out "ahhhhhh".  I couldn't help myself.  I guess I wasn't the only casualty because some other little kids were wondering what was going on.  I promised I would google.  And google I did.
     Flying ants called "swarmers" seem to have this modus operandi.  They like the shiny pools and land in them then drown like morons .  If they are so lucky as to find a tube or noodle to climb on...they are lucky.  If they find a human we are not so lucky.  The welt goes away quickly enough but for a few moments it does indeed smart.  From what I've read they go as fast as they come so I'm hoping they will be on their way.
     I thought with all of those years of obsessively sitting on my ladder saving each and every winged creature that landed in my pool that I would've been spared... but I guess karma makes up the rules. In the meantime, I will just have to swim faster and float around less.

Carrabba's

     So yesterday at birthday party numero uno my friend Sandi handed me a coupon.  That's all I really need and I'll do or try almost anything.  Today we took a little trip for lunch to Carrabba's.  Now, as a half Italian chick you must realize that though I appreciate good authentic food it isn't always easy to come by...especially at a chain.  I CAN'T rave over this place enough.  It was superb.  Here is where I turn into the restaurant critic (something I seem to slip into without even trying).  The service was extraordinary.  The place itself...cozy and inviting.  The food...amazing.  Start me off with dipping oil complete with an herb blend AND crusty delicious warm bread and I'm your new best friend.  But it just kept going.  Salad was yummy.  Main course...mmmm.  I sounded like I was having my very own When Harry Met Sally moment as I tasted my trio of chicken dishes.  One was better than the next. 
     (HOLD UP!  You just started to panic didn't you?  This girl just joined WW the other day...what the hell is she doing?!?!?!  I digress...yesterday with both parties not only did I eat no junk but I dined on a lunch of fruit.  This is just an example of my wise decisions.   I was rocking my points so nicely that I am actually throwing quite a few away...like thirty something of them.  I made conscious choices all week and gained bonus activity points so I was ahead of the game. I also chose wisely, watched my portions, have lunch for tomorrow and enjoyed a wonderful meal.  Suzan was right...you don't have to feel deprived.  PLUS, I knew the afternoon was slated for pool time.  I checked activity points.  I tread water, did laps and brushed up on my swimming strokes all in a completely empty pool.  Suckers...thought the icy water and potential storm were too much...not for me.  I also had shark steaks and garlic scapes (2 more new things) as well as squash and watermelon...healthy and light for dinner!)
     Back to Carrabba's.  If you are Italian and cringe at the thought of the chain dining experience this is no time to be fearful.   If you like food...you need to try it out if you aren't already a fan.  I am a fan.  I think if my Aunt Grace was around she would've said a little something like this: "An Italian chain...and you like it?!?! Eh, whaddya gonna do?"    To which I would answer..."I'm going to eat there again, that's what I'm gonna do!!!".  Thanks Sandi for the new thing and the coupon!

Early and late for the same party

     The invite said 1-3.  The second  invite said 3pm.  Somewhere in my frazzled brain I screwed up the times.  I knew we would have to leave early from one to get to the other but I thought the festivities began at noon.  I even went so far as to ask if I should feed the kids or if there would be lunch (because...in my head it started at NOON).  I rushed the children out the door and was so proud as we entered the building at the wildlife center promptly at 11:59.  I was then told by an employee that I was early for the party that started at 1:30pm.  Ugh.  So I drove the kids all the way back home to have lunch only to view the invite which clearly stated 1pm.  By the time I got back there it was 1:30.  Hence, the early and late for the same party.  That's a new one for me.  Time is a thing I greatly respect.  Here it was taunting me to chill a bit I guess. 
     The Merritt Family greeted us with a smile at the Monroe County Environmental Education Center.  It was a fun walk through the woods to the pond.  The children were given nets and were instructed how to collect the critters living along the edge of the water.  Ethan scooped up his little tadpoles so we could get a better view.  Emily had her pant legs turned up before the instructions were even finished.   There we were...moms that have known each other for quite a few years now watching as our (not so little anymore) children were exploring the mysteries of the water's edge. 
     A walk back for some cake and singing made the event complete.  Oh wait...did I mention the adorable gift bags?  Special plastic bags filled with paint your own birdhouses and suncatchers (handmade at that).   "These are the coolest gift bags ever!!!" was shouted from the backseat. 
Going to an environmental center for a birthday party was also a new thing...so I doubled up at one event.  I also have to say I don't think I ever screwed up a time like that...new all around.  BUT, it turned out to be a wonderful time despite my timing tribulations.  Thank goodness tadpoles can't tell time.

A Day of letters

     Mercury must be in a good place up in the sky because my need for communication is in overdrive.  So far today I have written a lengthy email, a tricky email  and a handwritten note to all different people.  I started with one and couldn't stop.  I don't seem to have the capability to just sit back and let things be...I push.  Sometimes people need it.  When you go to a funeral you all stand around and talk about the things you wish you could have said or done with that person.  But they are gone so it's too late.  I feel it is more painful to have the person right there and lose the chance.  So somewhere in that reasoning I find it too hard to wait.  What if this is the last day? 
     Somewhere around high school I started one of my many life philosophies.  If you don't have something NOW and you take a risk and you are shot down...you still have nothing.  There is no loss there.  BUT, if you take the chance and something comes out of it...well, then you win.  It has kept me going when I could've backed away from things.  Combine that philosophy with the "life is too short" mantra and you get what I have been trying to accomplish lately.  I am celebrating the life that I have been given.  I can mourn and cry and feel sadness but if I get the chance to laugh and love and learn...well I'm doing THAT in a big way.
     These letters are a risk.  They will also determine a great part of my future.  But I don't think it is fair to have feelings that you need to express and not pass them along.  It is almost like robbing someone of the truth.  So I will take my chances.  I will wait for a change.  I will be hopeful for a good outcome but I will accept what the outcome will be because I know that I did all that I could have done.  Hopefully, where there is truth and love something beautiful will flourish.  Now, I must find a carrier pigeon and get the fire going for my smoke signals...

A witchy afternoon

     It was a big day at work.  Lots to do for many different areas of the business.  But I start to crave the need to touch clay...and I linger...and they find me some new little task to do.  Today, we worked on witch mugs.  In fact, five women were working around a table together and some of us tend to cackle (I won't mention any names but let's just say there is a ring tone of a witch cackle when someone calls someone else) so it was sort of comical. 
      First I did some tracing, then a little score and slip (or scratch and attach as we call it) and then I even used some new tools to do some detail work.  Very cool.  Lots of new little techniques in one big lesson. So sometime in September when the regular orders are coming in for the witch mug I will be one step and a few cackles ahead!

Join the two big dubs

     I have managed my way through the "eat" portion of the journey.  I have had one too many crepes and cups of coffee laden with half & half.  Plus there were all of those new restaurants to try out for my new thing for the day.  Last year I had lost about thirty pounds.  Well, not only did they find me again but they brought their friends along.  I'm sorry guys...but you have to go.  Several posts ago I forgave the skinny girl and the fat woman but now I need to find the size in the middle that is jusssst right.  (Insert Goldilocks voice here.)
     All of this being said...I will not beat myself up.  Just recently I was thinking about how proud I am of myself.  I came up with a big challenge to "do the new" as I am now calling it and I have been following through quite nicely.  I have a new job, some new friends and am clearing out the old with some brand new attitudes.  I am joining and doing things that would have scared me away before.  I am dealing with grief and taking all of the support I can get.  My blog has inspired others and others have inspired me....take joining Weight Watchers for example...Suzan gets credit for opening my eyes to the benefits that it has for someone stuck.  I have been doing pretty good mentally, even better spiritually and am zooming socially.  Along the journey I was wondering where the falling apart was...like it was lurking and hiding.  Sometimes it does sneak up on me and I have my moments of breaking down but where it really was taking its toll was on my body.  Ahhhhhh....THERE it is.  I realized this when last year's summer clothes were not fitting so well.  
     So today (such good timing since my fridge is full of veggies and a pool pass is pinned to my suit) I begin yet another challenge.  This one will put me on the list for sure.  I don't eat bad food and I love to exercise so why the problem?  No exercise and too much good food has taken me down.  But... I like my charts.  I like my rewards.  I like my systems...so this seems like a fun little adventure.  I also need to keep me high on the list so that I can be all I need to for the others who live on my list as well. 
     I have signed up, weighed in (ugh), measured body parts (double ugh) and am ready to drink 85 glasses of water today.  Wish me luck and away I go...hopefully literally and figuratively!