The format of this new thing is a bit different and since it is my challenge I get to make up the rules. The trigger for this post occurred this morning when I realized I had overslept. Let's rewind a bit. Little by little I am trying to figure out what has worked as well as what has been unsuccessful in my life. I am doing all of this to define the life I want to be living instead of the one that was happening around me. This means hard work, growth, change and new habits. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about the duties of motherhood. I was saying that we need to change what isn't working. I realized I should be taking my own advice. So on Sunday night I did the laundry. Why is this a big deal? I do laundry during the day. During the day when I could be spending valuable time playing or teaching my children. Now if you know me at all you know that it seems like I do that quite a bit. I spend the summer teaching the "letter of the day" for goodness sake...but I still feel like I don't have enough time to do what I really want to with them. So this week I did laundry late on Sunday to free up Monday morning for the good stuff. We spread catalogs and magazines all over the table and created collages...yes, we are up to C. I didn't have to spread myself over the usual ten things at a time I am trying to accomplish. Instead, I spent my energy on them. I ended up accomplishing quite a bit anyway that day...despite my creative time. I then changed a few things I would've done during the day and they worked out nicely as well. I pushed dinner up a bit early to do something crazy. We went to the pool after dinner and closed it down. Bedtimes were out the window. I broke out of my own regimen for the perfect bedtime and realized that perfection comes in different forms. I watched as my little guy played joyfully in a pool that he feared only weeks ago. I watched as he dunked his blond little head into the water and how his sister can do flips and handstands already. I watched as my old father sat there taking it all in. I also swam and played in the water. For hours. This body had adapted nicely to the new food and the new movement it was getting and we were celebrating. All of us were welcoming the beginning of summer and the new peacefulness it brought to us.
Back to the oversleeping. Seems too much caffeinated iced tea and a few too many laps energized me too much. I stayed up until normal time but then crashed. Crashed. Hard. The noise of my daughter and the dog leash meant it was 7:30am but the digital clock showed me that it was actually 8:45am. Everyone had slept a little sounder and a little longer than usual. I can't remember the last time I slept in past 8 and typically I am up around 5am. Even when sick as a dog the world makes demands on me that don't allow time for extra slumber. I got up in a tizzy with panic as I ran around catching up for lost time. I've overslept only a handful of times my entire life so it must be a comical scene to watch. I then took a breath and realized the old me would've had been destroyed by such a mistake. The new me let me off of the hook. I am making changes. I am learning. I will make mistakes. Maybe this one saved me from a fatal accident or kept my children safe from some incident. Either way I got ready and made it to work just fine. I am lucky to have an understanding boss. One that didn't mind if the smell of chlorine and aloe was still lingering on my darkened skin.
I am not only defining the new attitudes that I want to have but I am living them. It is easy to name a bunch of things you hope to change someday. It is simple to throw out some ideas. But to change...really change...is hard. As I approach the halfway point of this year's journey I am feeling pretty good. Here and there the new thing might be a negative one...like sleeping in...a flat tire...a loss of some sort...or worse...but they do make you realize you are indeed changing. They are a testament to the growth. You don't really know how much you have changed until you are tested. It is easy to be great when things are simple...it's when things are hard that you either rise or fall. As I drove to work this morning it hit me...I've been living a bunch of these new habits for quite a while now. I am aware now because I overslept on a Tuesday...well, that and everything that led up to it.
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