I took a night to to try to order up some enlightenment...hence the strange title. I tuned into OWN and watched another Lifeclass with Oprah. Her guest was the amazing, Iyanla Vanzant. She breaks things down in such a way that you blow your mind. Things so complicated and frustrating become simple and clear. She reminds us that we are all an integral part of this universe. Just like each cell in a body is important so are we to the world that we live in. Each time I hear her speak she says something that revitalizes me. It is usually a simple concept that has just never been said aloud in quite that manner and it changes everything!
This time it was all about the story that we tell. We put it on a loop and hit play. It stops us from moving forward. It prevents us from growth. It holds us prisoner because we don't know what is beyond the story and therefore scared to death to move on. Brilliant. She worked this through with a few guests that were stuck in their story. This whole thing resonated with me...for days. I am writing this days later. I let it brew to make sure I was paying attention. It inspired me to do many brave things this week...even with a body that seems to be falling short lately with one ailment or another.
The next show featured Tony Robbins getting in the face of of a couple who needed it. Their story was tragic. At their wedding reception he decided to jump into the pool and swim over to his new bride. He broke his neck and is now in a wheelchair. They have since been having quite a bit of trouble. He feels he has taken away what was to be their life and she is constantly frustrated with herself as well as him. Tony made them skydive, taught him to play Murderball, showed her how to take of herself while taking care of him and how strong and brave they could be. They stopped being victims and started to take control of their life back.
Needless to say I was inspired by both shows. Life has sucked this last few years...to put it bluntly. It has. I spend days fighting and others crying. I have many challenges and as my therapist reminds me every so often...she does not wish my life on anyone. But I have become my story. I have begn to succumb to the loop that plays that reminds me to stay down. My body is tired. My heart is tender. My mind has lost its clarity and my spirit seems lost. This isn't working and this night of television has urged me to get off of my story and my ass and start to claim it...once again.
We all have our stories...our burdens...our hurdles. It is how we maneuver around them that makes the difference. It all comes down to choice.
I realize in reading my posts some of you might think they are lame lately. Sometimes privacy forces me to list something other than the big new thing that has happened. Finances, health issues, private matters are making things much trickier than last year. I am proud for continuing in this process of the new and have been humbled by what is afforded to me this year. One squeeze tighter to making this lump of carbon a shining diamond. One cycle closer to the butterfly.
I almost quit my "do the new". Almost. But almost never counts now does it?
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