Momentous Moment and Momentos

     I need to practice being present as often as possible.  It is a hard thing for a girl who is constantly updating calendars and scheduling every blink.  I have been working on it for quite some time and have really gotten good at it.  But every here and again I find myself tuning out some wonderful thing right in front of me because I am thinking about something that might or could happen in a bit.  Today, I put the world on PAUSE and took it in.  Ethan was buzzing about (as he does from sunrise to sunset) and yapping.  He was in a wild frenzy about end of school parties and parks and karate and you name it.  He mentioned something about tying a shoe and how if he knew how to do it at school he would win something.  I told him to grab a sneaker and take it to Pop Pop.  My Dad needs to be needed as we all do.  I forgot how bad he is at teaching something new.  The most patient man in the world turns into a huffy eye roller if you don't grasp something quickly enough.  I learned this as a young child.  With two impatient parents I realized that I was the best one to teach me things.  Maybe it is why I went on to be such a good teacher....tons of practice.  So out came my teary little guy upset at the way my Dad was grumbling.  I figured out pretty quickly that it wasn't my father's fault at all.  It turns out he was teaching him the proper way and Ethan had been learning the somewhat less serious two little bunny ear way.  My Dad was going with the real deal.  So I gave the pep talk about how there is no need to cry over tying a shoe and spent the next few minutes making up some weird little chant about loops and tucks.  Within a few tries he had it.  He was excited.  Part of me felt bad about the fact that I probably should have had this skill well established by now...he's 6 and all.  I nipped that feeling in the bud and reminded myself that he's had some really cool shoes (sans laces) and I've sort of been juggling the world...can't do it all now can I?  I paused and watched his little face light up as he found success over and over.  Each twist and tie made him a little bit more sure.  I said to him in the moments he grew scared that he had forgotten already, "Just think a few months ago you didn't know how to read or how to do five forms in karate...look at you now.  It's just a matter of time until you get it...be patient and know it will come!".  Well duh.  I give this advice all of the time to my children, to my friends, etc....why do I not give it to myself?  I pushed the PAUSE button and took in the moment.  All of it.  I captured his little toothless smile in my mental photo bank.  I pondered the teaching moment that I gave to him and the one that he gave me in return.  I held on for a moment and just let it be.  Fully.  These moments come like rapid fire lately and I need to catch them like fireflies in a jar to hold for just a bit. 
     A short while and one karate class later we found ourselves starving and exhausted from another big day.   Pizza was happening...I knew this much.  We headed to Momento's.  It's been there for a bit under my radar and tonight I realized how much I had been missing out.  The food is exceptional.  The place is simple but the passion from the chef is unbelievable.  The Lasagna Pizza was loaded with fresh basil, meatballs, sausages, huge dollops of ricotta and drizzles of olive oil.  We sat around a table and enjoyed it.  PAUSE.  Sometimes when a place is different from the norm you feel like you are doing something so exciting even if you are only grabbing a pizza.  The new is where you find it.  So in between the usual work and meetings and pickups and karate classes and dishes and everything else that life dishes out...you put the world on pause and make it feel new.   Today was the last full day of school.  I will be losing those quiet moments when I sit in the car in between work and the second half of my day with the family.  I get about 30 minutes 4 days a week or so to breathe.  To put the world on pause.  Now I will have the real practice sessions.  I will have to find them in the hustle and bustle of summertime.  Maybe I'll just have to sneak off and have a piece of pizza...since I think we have all mastered the art of shoe tying. 

Fifty Shades of Grey

     About a year or so ago I remember having the discussion with several people about how women have no place to "escape".  Boys have their sports, fantasy football teams, video games and superhero movies.  Lots of men in tights I might add.  Women had soaps back in the day but I don't know many people who still watch the few that are still around.  Ladies stayed home and served up tv dinners while the family was off doing whatever.  Today we work, whip up Martha style meals and are supermoms while we are at it.  I think somewhere between the olden days and fighting for our rights for equality we went a little too far.  Now we seem to do everything...with little rest or relaxation.  We have to be perfect.  We can't waste time.  In this previously mentioned discussion I remember talking about how men could find a few hours to get away from work and chores and fatherly duties by watching the game or picking a fake team to play around with on draft day.  They could get lost in the graphics and excitement of a game that made them shoot the zombies or steal a car or save the world.  For some reason they get away with it.  Maybe it's because they allow themselves to chill.  Women are relentless...especially with ourselves.  We have lots to do and even more to prove.  Always. 
     I'm seeing a bit of a shift.  I kept asking, "What is it that women have to escape with?".  Before I knew it blogs took off bigger than ever, Twitter finally became a household word, Pinterest became our new addiction and then there was a book.  Not just any book.  A #1 NY Times Bestseller.  And it's naughty.  Women everywhere have traded in the books that made us craftier, smarter and healthier to pick up a book that was pure entertainment.  They call it Mommy porn.  In this shift we are even claiming some time and space in an arena that men have been living in forever. 
     A friend of mine told me she was reading it.  I asked to borrow it when she was finished.  Records might have been broken for a speedy finish and though I have heard it's a fast and simple read I can't help but think the content makes it hard to put down.  Tonight, I will check it out...ya know...to research what all of the buzz is about.  Maybe just maybe there is hope yet for us chicks!

Nubbins

     I like the word "nubbin".  It's a funny word that makes me giggle.  I just looked it up in reference to my new post:

1: something (as an ear of Indian corn) that is small for its kind, stunted, undeveloped, or imperfect

2: a small usually projecting part or bit 

 

I find it even funnier that they specified Indian corn.  So why a post on the word nubbin?  I have been slacking a bit on new things.  I have been frustrated at the state of my life and it has been pulling me a bit backwards.  I have been getting by instead of pushing forward.  A stalemate with life if you will.  Something new is snapping in me again.  I think of these moments as limbs cracking in a storm.  You know the ones that don't break off until a good boomer comes and rips them down?  They hang on dead and lifeless until they are forced to go.  It is at that time that the tree can put its energy into the good limbs...the strong branches...or maybe even allow new growth.   This post is as scattered as my new energy.  Maybe it is the summer excitement bubbling up in me or the feel that something is coming but I have an electricity that I was lacking for a bit.  Now the song from West Side Story is playing in the background noise of my thinking.  This new big energy is the kind that needs a saddle and a bit in my teeth to control its wild craziness.  Please forgive these random rantings...I have a point I swear.  

   I have been frustrated.  New is harder.  Funds are low.  Time is tight.  Creativity is down.  If my life were having a business meeting we would not be having donuts to celebrate.  I need to kick in and I want to tap into the energy that I feel brewing.  I also need to push.  I am falling into the "I'm all old and done" loop again.  To that I say "Puuuuuuuuhhhhhhllllleeeeeez".  It is in these moments I remember it's my perception.  My choices and decisions.  My way is just fine.  All of the things that I have been practicing...the changes, the growth, the fearlessness...need to get bigger and stronger.  

So when you see a girl with two little nubbins on the top of her head you don't see anything but a different hair style.  You have no idea what it took to wear them in public.  My hair is long and curly.  It hasn't had a salon cut in so many years that I honestly don't remember the last time I sat in the chair to be pampered for hours.  The highlights have faded.  The shape is gone.  The greys are coming in faster than I care to think about.  They taunt me.  It has also been insanely hot and humid for a day in May in the Pocono Mountains.  At home I tuck my long locks into two little buns on the top of my head.  They make me cooler.  My headache goes away from the too tight pony that I had in moments before.  I also feel a bit silly and goofy.  I take the silly and use it to BE silly.  They are magical little nubbins.  But to wear them in public???? NOOOOOOO!  I am 39 years old and we don't do those things.  I don't do those things.  Until today.  I asked my kids if I was that silly lady they might make a joke about and they reassured me that I can get away with it.  I also had discussions at work about being "the youngest I'll ever be" and I really need to keep reminding myself of that.  I have to change my perception.  So maybe today I didn't take some new road to some cool new city.  Maybe I didn't  jump out of a plane (been there, done that) or ride a wild pony...but this shy little girl who is still finding her way did something brave.  I held up a silent little middle finger to the world and said accept me...as I am...because I am ok.  Nubbins and all...

What will be next I wonder?

Born and Raised

    John Mayer is on some new path.  It involves a new vibe in his music.  On this Memorial Day after time by the pool and things cooked on the grill it only seems fitting to listen to an album called "Born and Raised".  This song has been an inspiration lately and I'm excited to listen to the rest!

Did you know that you could be wrong
And swear you're right
Some people been known to do it
All their lives
But you find yourself alone
Just like you found yourself before
Like I found myself in pieces
On the hotel floor
Hard times have helped me see

I'm a good man, with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I'm right here, and I'm right now
And I'm open, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

Well I ain't no troublemaker
And I never meant her harm
But it doesn't mean I didn't make it hard to carry on

Well it sucks to be honest
And it hurts to be real
But it's nice to make some love
That I can finally feel
Hard times let me be

I'm a good man, with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I'm right here, and I'm right now
And I'm open, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

I'm a good man, with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I'm right here, and I'm right now
And I'm open, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

Ella Swims

     We have tried to lead a dog to water...but you can't make her swim.  Until this time.  She saw the water and went right in.  She must've received the memo.  I stood there watching her paddle through the pond all while trying to bite at the water droplets that she was creating in the air in front of her.  It was an odd moment.  I had to connect it to the feeling you have with a child.  Sometimes they tell you when they are ready.  I guess it is our job to make sure they know they should try. 

Driebe Freight Station

     We have a few more practices for the upcoming flash mob.  Usually we practice at the local theater.  The space was being used so we were channeled down the alley and across the street to the old freight station.  I have lived in Stroudsburg since 1990 and have never been inside the doors of this beautiful and historic little building.  I walked inside and had the most surreal feeling.  As we stood on wooden planks that are over 100 years old to listen to an Ipod play a song that we were going to dance to at a festival I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it all.  Those planks never thought they would see such madness.  I also found it odd that it took such an event to get me inside a building that I have walked near or by a bunch of times in the twenty or so years I have lived in this area.  Do you know your town?  Really know it?  Do you ever look at it with new eyes?  Be a tourist...check it out...you just might learn something new.  It might be one of the biggest cities in the world or a tiny little rural town but you can discover something new I bet!

     The Driebe Freight Station is the restored 1882 freight station of the New York, Susquehanna and Western Railroad.  Owned by the Monroe County Historical Association, the Driebe Freight Station is leased by the Jacob Stroud Corporation, a non-profit organization dedicated to the vitality of downtown Stroudsburg, which uses the building for a visitors' center, office and meeting space, and as a venue for special events, such as the free concerts every Saturday night in summer in the adjacent park.The MCHA hosts an exhibit of downtown Stroudsburg memorabilia and advertising artifacts in two display cases at the station.   The Driebe Freight Station is located next to McMichaels Park on Ann Street in downtown Stroudsburg, along McMichaels Creek.



   

Bad Catty-tude

     I was observed at my little preschool job today.  I did well on the last review and wasn't concerned in the least bit about this one.  I know these kids now and I love math manipulatives and if you put those two things together I'm a pretty happy girl.  It's exhausting though.  I teach 6 lessons in 2 1/2 hours.  I carry around a bin of math madness.  I start with preppers and twaddlers in diapers and work up to kids ready for kindergarten.  By the end I am ready to fall over but you would never know it while I am in there somehow making patterns and sorting exciting.  My supervisor skipped a few of the lessons to ask the teachers how they feel about my enrichment lessons.  She was told that I was the best they have had.  I'll take it.  But there is always one.  She's not even a teacher so I really didn't let it bug me.  But I did learn a little something new today.  Today I learned that catty is something timeless.  See, I thought it happened back when I was 21...young...thin...ready to take on the world.  While I was student teaching under a woman about to retire I was taught some mean lessons about women.  They aren't always so nice.  She constantly made comments about my clothes, my tiny frame and the way that I taught.  The kids liked me and that was a threat.  I also backed it all up with a damn good teaching style.  Catty is a way of life for some but I thought I was the victim because of certain circumstances.  "Your hair is naturally curly?!?"-  Meow.  "You wear what size?!?" - Hiss.  You get the idea.  This catty can follow.  It pops out when you are getting married, moving, buying a house, having babies, parenting, you name it.  I guess I thought somewhere along the line it wore off.  See now I'm pushing 40,  need to lose 40 lbs (twice) and those curls have 40 ugly little white hairs popping up every second.  What in the world do we have to be catty about now?  And yet it happens.  The difference is this grown woman dudn't care.  Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose.  I drove home thinking about it all and came to the conclusion that I wanted to apologize to the young girl who let others rock her.  I said I was sorry for being shaken all of those years ago.  How dare I allow it.  How dare I let it change who I was.  I dulled my shine for them.  Silly girl.  Silly. 
     A pal of mine said that when you hit your 40's you start to come into your own.  You stop caring about what people think...what they might say.  On this particular car ride home I made the decision that sooner was better than later.  I might have a few months left in my 30's (gulp) but why wait?  Her bad catty-tude led to a new attitude...I guess that was part of this journey.  I thank her for the test but I really thank me for the change. 

Goodnyou?

     A blog of a friend led me to a another blog.  The blogs that I follow tend to be rather quiet and though I don't have much free time to search for new inspirations I do love when they fall into my lap(top).  Heh.  Get it?
     Goodnyou? is a terrific blog celebrating the thing most of us blogger chicks seem to be doing...spinning plates and finding balance.  There is a little bit of everything focused on a celebration of life and it all comes with a soundtrack.  You had me at Playlist.  I don't care what the top ten blog no no's are...I like when the story has a tune to drive the point home. 
     Need a good new blog?  I found one that makes me feel good.  Goodnyou?

New Norah

     Norah Jones has a new album out.  New music is always a great way to do the new.  I haven't listened to it quite enough to size it up but it sounds like the Norah we all know and love. 

American Idol Full Circle

     I started out the morning listening to the new Kelly Clarkson album that is finally on my Ipod.  I knew my one theme song but it was nice hearing the rest of it.  That night we watched the finalists perform.  Phillip Phillips and his song "Home" have been playing on repeat since.  I can't believe it has been 11 seasons. 

Honey Bunches of Oats Raisin Medley

     Remember when I mentioned that I got to go to the supermarket all alone?  Well, I also got to take my time and check things out.  Usually I am running or pulling or shoving to get us all moving as quickly as possible.  I found a cereal I have never had before.  It is delicious. 
     New can't always be thrilling folks...it just has to be new. 

Roller Coasters with Ethan

     I am a roller coaster fanatic.  My Mom got me hooked in childhood and I've never looked back.  I wore high wedges as a kid to get on the big one sooner than I should have.  It was worth it.  My daughter follows in my footsteps.  My little guy is a bit more cautious about life.  A tad bit more sensitive with things.  I was careful with this one.  I wanted to find just the right time to celebrate the next level.  We headed to our beloved Knoebel's Grove  for the annual (almost) end of school celebration.  We were early this year but Gramary was visiting and the special ride all day price was too good to pass up. 
    We shot for the flume first.  The steep drop that made him cry and yell at me last year was a breeze this year.  I told him that he completed the first level.  The Twister is a grown up coaster.  It's serious.  I thought, no way!  But he loved it.  I found the trick was to tell him when the first big drop was over with...he then relaxed and enjoyed the ride as well as swelled with pride that he conquered his fear.  Level 2 complete.  We saved up for the big one.  The Phoenix is a fast coaster with a decent drop and some amazing g force hills.  He rocked that one as well.  Level 3 accomplished. 
    As we got on and off of the rides and waited in lines he held my hand.  This little boy is growing up quickly and somewhere in this age is a balance between bold and fearful.  He is gathering momentum and I want to be sure he knows it is safe.  I am careful not to push.  I am also careful not to inhibit.  I let him guide me as I guide him back.  A nudge here.  Extra protection there.  For each kiddie ride that he outgrows there is a new big kid ride that we get to enjoy together.  This is how I parent as to not have my heart ripped from my chest at all milestones.   For every one thing you gain you must say goodbye to another.  It is the gain that I focus on.  The memories are tucked for safekeeping but they aren't causes of sadness.  I guess the roller coaster was more symbolic than I realized that warm and sunny day...ups and downs are what makes it all so thrilling and now I have a new partner to ride with!

Sunglasses

     The dog chewed my sunglasses.  My brown oh so perfect Ray Ban glasses.  That I've had since...hmmm... 2005 perhaps? It was a sad day in Squintyville.  I learned a few days later with sunroof and windows wide open on my drive home from work that they also serve as eye protection from stray curls.  Don't forget their other function as headband.  So I was bummed.  Have I mentioned that I'm broke?  Sunglasses are not a priority when you have children to feed. 
     Mary comes to the rescue.  While perusing items for grandchildren at her beloved Kohl's...a sign popped up with a time buster deal thingie.  I scored some new Vera Wang glasses because they were under twenty bucks and Mary is a sucker for a deal (and a girl a whole lot less cranky from the headaches).  I have to tell you that they are tinted in such a way that the world looks happier.  Things are brighter.  Bolder.  Turns out that some of us do see the world with rose colored glasses and that's just fine with me!!! Thanks Murr!

Sizzling Salads Kit

     I can't tell you the last time that I went food shopping alone.  With no time restraints.  With hoarded paychecks deposited in time for the food extravaganza.  I was so excited I was singing along with the music and smiling at other shoppers.  I loaded up on the things nobody else knows how to get quite like Mom.  I also stuck my nose in some new stuff.  It was nice not being in "supermarket sweep" mode as I like to call it. 
     I found a new product.  It's a kit that has two sauces for two parts of the meal.  I cook most of my stuff from scratch but this seemed interesting and with a guest coming it was perfect.  I went with the Chicken Caesar salad kit.  One sauce gives the chicken flavor while sauteing.  The other is a delicious dressing.  Some crispy, fresh romaine and parmesan cheese and we were set.  See what a little free time can do for a weary cook?

Sneaks to Work

     This sounds lame but let me explain.  My work is messy and shoes need to be comfortable, tough (should you drop something heavy on your foot) and take the dirt.  Clay dust is a wicked shoe hater.   So I've been wearing my hikers.  Not much time to hike so I had to let them go for the cause of a paycheck.  But many, many blog posts ago you might remember me being quite excited about my new kicks.  Mizuno.  Orange accents.  Mmmmm.  Little by little my feet have been getting achy.  The hikers are shot.  I've purged many other shoes the last few years and it left me no choice.  So it sounds like no big deal but the symbolism to me was...it was one more thing to sacrifice.  One more grown up decision to make.  A little bit of sadness.  But my feet thank me and they are rebelling in ways that feet will so I need to start paying attention.  As for hiking and walking...looks like I have an excuse to do some shoe shopping!

Dub Steppin'

     I love music.  Love it.  I love hearing something new.  I enjoy finding different groups.  I am thrilled with concerts.  Music motivates, inspires and grounds me.  It can push me to walk the track for miles.  It can also push me out of a funk.  Sometimes it's even the deal breaker for holding back the tears.  But whatever the emotion it evokes...I listen.  I love.  I wish that I had more free time to search for new music.  I am appreciative when someone sends me a name to check out.  I don't miss a free concert that might introduce me to something wonderful.  My other blog is based on music and the therapy it provides.  As a Mom about to hit 40 I have realized that I am the woman I used to make fun of...ya know the one that I thought should be listening to Celine Dion but isn't.  See I still like the new stuff.  I stay semi-current.  I might not be as cool as the Brooklyn folk but I'm definitely not listening to the easy stations.  When I'm pissed I listen to heavy rap.  When I'm light I listen to dance and pop. You get the idea.  I have never been defined by a music style preference and I don't think that will change anytime soon. 
     All this being said...and aware that I am terribly late to the cool party...I have finally checked out dub step.  Dub Step...yep, I'm old because somewhere as I type this I realize how silly it sounds.  That's ok though...remember my mantra: "This is the youngest I will ever be!".  I went to Playlist where they have featured genre lists of music and guess what?  Dub Step has it's very own.  I listened for quite a while.  I find it funny that the new generation likes to change it up a little and give it a fresh title.  But back in the day I liked me some techno and I think this is his cousin.  It also has a layered percussion and synthesized sound that I find pretty cool.  Maybe it IS just a guy and his Mac but it will get my ass moving around that track when I finally find my way back to it!!! 
     Now as for being old...I love it for a bit but after some time I need to stop listening and in the sigh of relief that comes after the silence...I realize I'm not that young after all.  ;)

Pop's 86th Birthday!

     When a man turns 86 you want to throw him a parade.  That's a lot of stuff.  He fought in a war, cut school to see concerts (Big Bands were the grunge of the 30's), built houses and traveled.  The youngest of 9...he watched as they all left him here alone...one by one.  He was an apprentice, a worker and went on to be a foreman for a company that did the gorgeous finishing woodwork in buildings you just might have heard of...like the Sears Tower in Chicago or the courthouse in Media.  Maybe you've even heard of places like the World Trade Center or the Statue of Liberty.  Yep, he would walk down the streets of Manhattan and men would wave and share a joke.  Somewhere along the line in his decades of making things gorgeous he met every plumber, drywall guy, electrician, mason, architect, construction guy and carpenter.  When he turns 86 you want to build him a stage and have a concert to celebrate this life.  He lived as the most devoted husband one could know and the sweetest father and grandfather ever to roam the earth.  You want to thank him with riches and trips and all he wants is a "candy bar".  Each year since I'm little I would ask what he wanted for his birthday and that was his reply..."just a candy bar, Cookie...I have everything that I need". 
     The past few years have been a challenge.  He lost his wife.  He has little or no family.  The ones he does have live far.  He has us.  We include him as much as we can and cater to his needs quite often but I know we can't replace all that he has lost.  He is also not as sharp as he used to be so it has moments that are frustrating to say the least.  In those moments I remind myself of the past and try to remember all of those magical times.  There is also the frustration of lack of time, resources and money to properly celebrate a fellow turning 86.  So....instead of a parade or concert or party...we headed to the Olive Garden.  The man likes his Italian food.  After a few tear causing cards and a new pair of slippers off we went.  Little did I know it would be such a wonderful evening.
     My dear friend is a manager at the Olive Garden and even though we were just us in little old Stroudsburg we felt like the rich and famous at any high end hoity toity joint.  The food was extra delicious and the service was the best it could've been.  We went the whole range from appetizers and wine to desserts complete with birthday singing and every bit was perfect.  Work and school and functions keep us busier than we need to be at times and this was the world on PAUSE.  It was relaxed and yummy and as homey as one can feel outside of their very own dining room.   It was a happy birthday indeed. 
     Ryan you seem to come through for me in some of the bigger moments in my life and for that as well as a most beautiful evening...I thank you!  They are lucky to have you.  I know you have left the big city and the fancy shmancy restaurant for a life here with us all and for that we are all blessed and grateful!!!

Sing to Ella

     It was a yucky Monday morning.  They are hard enough as it is.  I turn the music up a tad bit louder on Mondays.  It gets me moving and becomes contagious.  Rihanna's "Umbrella" came on and I called to my pooch so that she could hear that her name was in a song... 

"You can stand under my umbrella
Ella
Ella
Ay Ay Ay"

500 new things.  500 posts about them.  Sometimes you just need to sing to your dog.

Mother's Day Marathon of WDYTYA

     Mother's Day is bittersweet now.  It is the celebration of a job well done as I look at my amazing children with pride.  It is a day to miss the woman that I want to thank for giving me a road map for this thing called motherhood.   And I won't even get into the other layers of bittersweet that exist on such a day.  But after a lovely brunch up high on a hill comes a peaceful afternoon of rest and ease.  It is a day to be selfish.  A day to reflect.  A day to be proud of my biggest success.  I am a good Mom.  But somewhere in between the hand made cards and sweet little seedlings that came home from school telling me that I am "the best" I feel that I have left them down.  My family tree will have limbs that are missing.  Gaps in branches.  Pruning.
     I watched back to back episodes of Who Do You Think You Are...and my family sat right there with me as I did.  Turns out we all love the show.  While I watch and wonder what it would be like to fly all over the world to trace my past there is a longing for the mysteries I will never discover.  I am sorry that I didn't ask more questions while ancestors were alive and memories were sharp.  I regret that I didn't listen harder in my silly youth.  I am saddened by the blossoms that didn't bloom.  I am crushed by the damage done to my tree by the stormy weather.  I wonder about what I can pass along and how creative a person can be when it comes to roots that have grown...and the ones that have been ripped up.  The show taught us all something very important.  Not money nor fame can change the type of tree you have grown from.  We all have some good fruit on our tree and some pests.  Maybe one of these days I'll search for the answers from my past but for right now I'm trying very hard to savor the today.

The Lion in Winter

     Sandi is a good friend.  A really good friend.  Not just because she is supportive and funny and talented...but because she is patient and kind and patient.  Did I mention she is patient?  She will constantly ask to do things. She will wait until I am free.  This is a rare phenomena.  But she will ask and offer and invite as much as she can...and she'll wait.  She threw out an invite to grab her plus one ticket to the playhouse but this time I was able to say "yes!". 
     The Lion in Winter was an intelligent play about kings and family heirs and thrones and power.  It was complex and funny, raw and witty.  It was layered.  The acting was superb and the set was much more than the little theater usually puts together.  It was a lovely night in a sweet little theater with the kindest and most patient of friends.  Thanks, Sandi...for all of it!

Blogger's Dance

     I had never heard of the Blogger's Dance.  You would think after almost 500 posts on this blog and a bunch on the other I would've known about such a thing....but I did not.  And this particular Friday I was pooped.  In the early hours of the morning I checked on my favorite blogs and low and behold there was one that made me crack up.  My friend, Jodie, posted her Blogger's Dance.   It took my sleepy morning and turned it right around.  Sometimes we just need a giggle....or maybe a little dancin'. 

    

Birthday Movies

     I have mentioned that I loved The Avengers.  Many times.  But when you find out that the crew is going to celebrate Ryan's birthday by seeing it...you JUMP at the chance.  It was a whole new experience.  It was my first time watching the big fancy XD screen and this time the movie was in 3D.  But what was really cool was sitting back and watching and then leaning forward to watch Ryan's reactions to the parts I knew would blow his mind.  I also got to giggle with my girls at the parts I knew would make them crack up.  It was a fun night with an awesome family to celebrate a terrific guy.  Happy Birthday, Ryan!!! (Thanks for the treat Mr. Quinn!!!!)

Beer Braised Chuck Roast

     These days are extra full of extra everything.  There is little time to play in the kitchen.  I finally had a moment but the supplies were low.  It then becomes a cooking show competition in my head.  I look for my protein and my sides and figure out what I can make.  I dig for recipes.  I hope we have herbs.  Turns out that I had the makings for something delicious.  A frozen piece of beef, one stray bottle of beer, a bundle of fresh thyme and onions in the pantry made one delicious braised chuck roast.  My Le Creuset even made it into the oven!  Sometimes when you have no choice you end up discovering something you would have overlooked or skipped around.  Sometimes the pressure is a good thing.  This time it was one amazing dinner!

Emily's Spring Concert

     Emily practices not one but two instruments daily.  This is in between karate and school and extra work and everything else.  We all headed to the Spring Concert to watch the fruit of her labor.  It was a lovely little concert.  All of that practicing really pays off!

Three Girls at the Quinn House

     I have watched Gabby, the house and the dog if Tina needed.  But this request was to watch Aubrey.  She is seven months old.  I feared I might be a bit rusty since Ethan is 6 and all.  I headed over and had a nice little snuggle session with Harper the pooch.  This was followed up by a little Plants vs Zombies with my buddy, Gabrielle.  And then the sound came....a little whimper from the crib that said the nap was over.  She was a bit confused when I was the first thing that she saw when she woke up...but we were just fine.  We giggled and rocked and sang and giggled some more.  I dare say she is the sweetest little thing on the planet.  Turned out to be a great night with lots of smiles and the realization that I still got it! ;)

A Lesson in Brakes

     I went in for a simple oil change and was told that the brakes would never pass inspection.  Also, they were making an odd jingling noise that I knew was not right but when the music was loud enough I could ignore it for the ride.  I was told LAST year at my inspection that the brakes would need to be replaced and I got a whole other year out of them so my soft little brake habit bought me some time.  But it was starting to get scary.  John purchased all of the parts...and I got a lesson on how to take everything apart and put everything back together.  Now if only we could do the inspection...

The Avengers

     As a small kid I ran to the comic book store to buy the new editions.  I think my Mom got me started on them.  I would stare at the magazine rack in front of me loaded with shiny color and need more.   I also watched all of the superhero shows that were on television.  All of them.  And the movies.  When I was in the third grade and we had to come up with wishes...I wished to meet Christopher Reeve because at the time I was obsessed with Superman.  Somewhere along the way I left my heroes behind.  Maybe I was distracted with big girl stuff.  Maybe I thought superheroes were for kids.  I've been on this weird journey for a few years now and the question I keep coming back to is..."Where does it all go?".  Ya know, the stuff that makes us enjoy our childhood.  I keep trying to find bits and pieces of it to see which I should recapture and which is really just the stuff of babies.  If I meet someone new and they seem interesting I jump right in because that's what kids do.  I carve out time to daydream.  I sing when I feel like it.  I have even started to enjoy just playing games.  Even video games.  I get dirty at work.  I think in poetic verses.  I search all of the time for the magic of being young and excited...
     Somewhere along the path I dumped my heroes for the world of adults.  I have to tell you...the heroes were better.  They gave me hope.  They taught me lessons.  They made me feel good.  I am starting to admire the comic book shop dorks that we find funny on television because somewhere along the way they didn't let go.  Now, I'm not defending people stuck in their childhoods but I have seen the other side.  Just as I have read books again as an adult or watched movies again since childhood...I am revisiting the superhero.  I get different things out of the novels, the classics and the poems because I can understand them on a whole new level.  Same with movies.  There was so much more to learn. 
     I saw The Avengers.  The movie is exciting, hysterically funny and has amazing action.  The writing is smart, the acting is rich and the characters are full.  The special effects are beyond special and the concepts within them are brilliant.  The story of each hero is exciting enough...but to tie them all in together is fantastic.  I could go on and on about the levels and lessons of the movie but the record breaking numbers for opening weekend have said enough.  The Avengers brought safety back to the world and they brought a little piece of this little girl back to life.  Thank you...and your oh so beautiful muscles. 

Firehouse Subs

     It's National Hoagie Day.  Yep, there is something for everything and this girl likes an excuse to celebrate anywhere she can.  So after work and while in an unfamiliar town...we hit a brand new place on a the day that honors what they serve!
     The decor is everything firehouse right down to the dalmatian spotted tables.  The soda machine is a computerized gizmo of wonder.  I had the vanilla Coke...because...well....I could.  I also had the
Smokehouse Beef & Cheddar Brisket which is USDA Choice beef brisket smoked for 10+ hours, melted cheddar, and special sauces.  It was delectable.   It was all that and a bag of chips.  Literally and figuratively. 

Gabrielle's Spring Choral Concert

     I was quite excited to be in attendance at Gabby's show...along with a family I have spent two decades with.  Two decades.  There we all were listening to the dear little voices of the children coming from the stage...and it hit me...a surreal moment as I thought about the goofy batch of kids that worked at the mall together...only to grow up and have children.  We are all blessed to have each other...the chosen "family" that we have been to one another through thick and thin.  Gabrielle looked beautiful and the songs were just as lovely! We are all so proud of you!!!  Thank you for sharing your voice AND your family...they each make the world a little bit sweeter!!!!

EthaM

     You think that once you get out of school you are finished with projects.  Then you go on to teach school.   More of them.  Preschool...even worse.  Now that I have two kids IN school it seems as though the projects never stop.  When they have homework and projects that means that I have them as well...for a little while longer anyway...then they will be on their own!!!
     This one involved creating a pig out of various household things.  I used a shoebox for the body.  Paper towel rolls for the legs.  A head of newspaper.  Snout and eyes from egg cartons.  Oh and I twisted a mighty fine tail from a skewer.  I then covered the entire thing piece by piece with soft pink material (Emily's old shirt).  Recycling is quite alive at my house.  He needed a name tag.  I fashioned one from twine and styrofoam.  It was supposed to have Ethan's name...but it's a pig...and I am silly.  Tomorrow Ethan will bring his new pal, ETHAM, to the farm set that the kindergarten class has created for a play.  Etham...get it?  Oink. 

Stop and Smell the Wisteria

     I had to park around the block from my destination.  My destination was not a fun one and it was squished between the rushed ride home from work and a deadline to pick the kids up from school.  Harried as usual I didn't have the moments to spare.  I was grumbling under my breath...miserable and cranky...and it hit me like a slap in the face.  A beautiful, sweet slap in the face.  I believe it slowed time for a second or two and held me there like a cartoon.  A giant wisteria hung down upon me like a scene from a play and stopped me in my tracks.  I literally stopped to smell the wisteria.  (Roses are overrated anyway).  I took care of what I needed to and headed back to the car...only this time I was excited.  I found the glorious purple blooms and lingered.  Lingered.  I might even have closed my eyes for a second to properly breathe in their scent.
     I grew sad for a moment about the plant that I put into the ground so long ago in the yard of my house.  The house that is no longer mine....located not all that far from where I was standing.  It took many summers to grow high and lush but the blooms never came.  They take years to visit the vines.  I planted the wisteria for the investment that it would be.  Blossoms might be there now but I don't get to  see or smell them...and that is IF the new owners haven't removed the plant.
     I snapped back to the present.  I stayed in the moment.  The moment of gratitude and sweetness.  I was thankful for what I was experiencing now.  I shook off regrets.  I shook off the crankies.  I was glad for the now and looked forward to the later.  In that moment I thanked myself.  I also gave myself a little mental pat on the back.  I am getting it.  I was grateful for the longer walk in the warm air and for the gift of purple blossoms that the trek took me to.  I paused and wrote about it in a status update hoping to remind some others of the moments we can cherish.  Tonight, as I sat down and wondered what my new thing of the day was going to be I realized I had experienced it already and it was probably one of the most valuable so far. 
     When we are led in another direction it is probably for a reason.  Don't be afraid of the path.  Don't grumble at the journey.  And sure as hell take time to smell the flowers along the way!!!

Salvation in Muffin Making

     Rough day + Mama Monday = a dangerous combination.  The whole point of creating a special time was to carve out precious quality moments with my kids.  It is hard to do that when things are extra challenging.  I couldn't face crafty projects like last week.  I wasn't feeling much of anything, really.  It is in these moments you dig.  You dig because you need to.  You need to get out of your own way when you have kids and do what is best for them...for you...for the family.  Dig.  Dig.  Deeper.  Take a deep breath and find the second wind or sixth one depending on the day.  Pile on top of a challenging day the lack of food and basics in the house and come up with a recipe you can make together.  Dig.  Dig even more.  Find the teaching moments.  Find the inspirations.  Create something wonderful out of something hard. 
     You come up with the best dang muffins you have made thus far....and I make some pretty good muffins! Yes, they are all from a beloved book titled, "Muffins A to Z" by Marie Simmons but they still count.  I turned the stained pages of the regulars and favorites and found one that I have always skipped...until today.  And if someone says they hate coconut or nuts or carrots or whatever the heck they whine about do what we did....don't tell people what is in 'em...just let them taste.  THEN you can tell them because by that point they are in love!

Favorite Steiger Haus Carrot & Apple Muffins

Topping (Optional)
2 T sugar
2 tsp ground cinnamon

Batter
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 1/4 cups sugar
2 tsp baking soda, sieved
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups peeled, grated carrot (about 4 medium)
1 cup peeled, cored, grated apple (1 large apple), plus slices for optional topping
1/2 cup finely chopped hazlenuts
1/2 cup dried currants or raisins
1/2 cup flaked sweetened coconut
1 cup vegetable oil
3 large eggs
2 tsp vanilla

Mix topping ingredients and set aside.  Preheat the oven to 400°.  Lightly butter 12 muffin cups or coat with nonstick cooking spray. 
Batter: Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda, cinnamon and salt in large bowl.  Stir in the carrots, apples, hazelnuts, raisins and coconut. 
In a separate bowl , whisk together the oil, eggs and vanilla.  Add to the dry ingredients all at once and fold just until evenly moistened.  Do not overmix. 
Divide the batter evenly among the muffin cups.  Top each muffin with an apple slice, if using, and sprinkle with a little of the optional cinnamon-sugar topping.  Bake until the tops are golden and a toothpick inserted in the centers comes out clean, 20-25 minutes. 
Cool on wire rack before removing from the pan. 

Tobago

     I thought the first game was awesome and then we busted out, Tobago.  Board changes, moving locations for starter pieces and decks of cards to be shuffled and you have a new game each and every time that you play.  Oh and the treasure...is based on a series of clues...that you can create as you go.  Mind blowing.  Highly addictive.  We played the long version....and then played it again.  I couldn't get enough of this game.  It left my house...and took a little piece of me with it.  :(
     I thanked Mark for the last game.  For this one I am angry.  ;)

Forbidden Island

     I have had a love of board games since childhood.  I love sitting around the table with interesting people while playing something new.  (I won't lie...as a kid I would even set up all of the pieces and play alone if I had to).  Love them.  My mother would search and scour for new and unique ones.  Every year at Christmas we would have a full day of adventure ahead as we would play with all of her new finds....right up until just a short bit ago.  We still play games from time to time but nothing new has really come this way...
    Until now.  Mark was out for a visit and brought along some of his new faves.  Turns out that he is a bit of a board game fan as well.  We started with Forbidden Island.  It was unique, challenging, interesting and wait for it....a team building exercise as well.  What?  A game NOT based on winning for yourself...dominating your opponent...smashing your enemy??!?!?!  I couldn't believe it.  It was all about working together to accomplish a goal.  It made our brains work while we built strategies and problem solved together.  We almost sunk into the waters of defeat but with a little thinking we made it off of the Forbidden Island safe and sound!!!
     Oh and the game pieces...very cool and I'm a sucker for a cool game piece! Thanks to Mark for sharing with us!!!