Bad Catty-tude

     I was observed at my little preschool job today.  I did well on the last review and wasn't concerned in the least bit about this one.  I know these kids now and I love math manipulatives and if you put those two things together I'm a pretty happy girl.  It's exhausting though.  I teach 6 lessons in 2 1/2 hours.  I carry around a bin of math madness.  I start with preppers and twaddlers in diapers and work up to kids ready for kindergarten.  By the end I am ready to fall over but you would never know it while I am in there somehow making patterns and sorting exciting.  My supervisor skipped a few of the lessons to ask the teachers how they feel about my enrichment lessons.  She was told that I was the best they have had.  I'll take it.  But there is always one.  She's not even a teacher so I really didn't let it bug me.  But I did learn a little something new today.  Today I learned that catty is something timeless.  See, I thought it happened back when I was 21...young...thin...ready to take on the world.  While I was student teaching under a woman about to retire I was taught some mean lessons about women.  They aren't always so nice.  She constantly made comments about my clothes, my tiny frame and the way that I taught.  The kids liked me and that was a threat.  I also backed it all up with a damn good teaching style.  Catty is a way of life for some but I thought I was the victim because of certain circumstances.  "Your hair is naturally curly?!?"-  Meow.  "You wear what size?!?" - Hiss.  You get the idea.  This catty can follow.  It pops out when you are getting married, moving, buying a house, having babies, parenting, you name it.  I guess I thought somewhere along the line it wore off.  See now I'm pushing 40,  need to lose 40 lbs (twice) and those curls have 40 ugly little white hairs popping up every second.  What in the world do we have to be catty about now?  And yet it happens.  The difference is this grown woman dudn't care.  Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose.  I drove home thinking about it all and came to the conclusion that I wanted to apologize to the young girl who let others rock her.  I said I was sorry for being shaken all of those years ago.  How dare I allow it.  How dare I let it change who I was.  I dulled my shine for them.  Silly girl.  Silly. 
     A pal of mine said that when you hit your 40's you start to come into your own.  You stop caring about what people think...what they might say.  On this particular car ride home I made the decision that sooner was better than later.  I might have a few months left in my 30's (gulp) but why wait?  Her bad catty-tude led to a new attitude...I guess that was part of this journey.  I thank her for the test but I really thank me for the change.